Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
MikaykayUnicorn 36
"Prepare for take off."
pizzafrommars 14
Lemme tell a similar story. Happened about an hour ago. I attempted to lose my virginity to the most beautiful girl on earth. Couldn't get it up.
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Comments (115)
MikaykayUnicorn 36
"Prepare for take off."
Cayers97 12
Landing gear engaged
Econforthwin 15
He was basically the challenger mission. Too soon?
RedPillSucks 33
Ground control to Major Tom...
Miss_Chevious 37
talk about crash landing...
CaptainCrow 13
Not soon enough
pjsr 33
IMO, yes, way too soon
pizzafrommars 14
Lemme tell a similar story. Happened about an hour ago. I attempted to lose my virginity to the most beautiful girl on earth. Couldn't get it up.
nfedrichy 20
Don't worry about first times. most people are extremely nervous.
Patriots21 14
"Common bro, couldn't get it up? Gotta hit the gym more and quit being a bitch." -- Shirtless, Flexing FML Profile-Picture Douchebags
chillandfun 12
Nvm
russianmafia 2
That's normal don't worry about it. The first time is almost always over hyped up anyways.
MrConcise 35
It's totally fine, 15-year-old girls don't gossip about things like this all the way until they graduate.
xx000o 27
Was that before or after the second thrust?
crackfetus420 12
This exact same thing happened to me last december
dutchy86 20
pilot error?
5FDPmetalhead 17
And after two seconds of being in the air you cum to a landing
Fmlsea 28
A crash landing !
allforfun 23
Aaahhhahaha.
myoukei 31
Well, i doubt op came to anything...
SideOfTheAngels 23
I'm sure there's been worse first times. Still it does suck - though it can only get better from here.
swanheart 35
First times are generally supposed to be terrible - at least you got a funny story to tell out of it. It'll get better from here :)
A07 48
To infinity, and beyond!
flamingice13 11
Maybe next time he can keep in in the air longer before cumming to a landing
persianchick 13
That's actually hilarious, I would laugh it off ?
clairesucks 37
Would you? Would you really?
persianchick 13
I actually would
JKPwnage 27
Really? The question mark might be misleading.
MandieL 27
First times always suck, especially if you are with an inexperienced partner. Sex can be overhyped and usually never lives up to your expectations the first time. But practice makes perfect, and hopefully he was respectful enough to make it up to you a different way ;)