Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
MikaykayUnicorn 36
"Prepare for take off."
pizzafrommars 14
Lemme tell a similar story. Happened about an hour ago. I attempted to lose my virginity to the most beautiful girl on earth. Couldn't get it up.
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Comments (115)
Angelinheaven 8
That sucks I hope he makes it up to you
BrassWing13 11
I didn't know it was possible for a guy to last that small amount of time
ladyg228 15
Take a break and round 2 and tell him ladies first this time :)
Steve_Dudley_UK 10
I think you need to nickname your boyfriend Wibur. Wilbur Wright won a coin toss between him and his brother Orville and made a three-second flight attempt on December 14, 1903, stalling after takeoff. Tell your boyfriend that "flight" didn't really count because didn't make the airplane really fly. The next pilot (Orville) got the plaudits.
MrsJellyBean 14
I kinda think that's cute that he said that lol I would of laughed
Haze115 14
t-minus 10- no 5 seconds to lift off
bnbhimp 10
Teenagers!
Saraishi 25
''All systems are go... Nevermind.'' Maybe he'll manage to fly the plane next time, OP.
ariasmake1 9
I think, technically you might still be a virgin.
Willrus_3 11
The plane never left the runway ?