Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
MikaykayUnicorn 36
"Prepare for take off."
pizzafrommars 14
Lemme tell a similar story. Happened about an hour ago. I attempted to lose my virginity to the most beautiful girl on earth. Couldn't get it up.
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Comments (115)
SaniK 17
I'm pretty sure he was using cheap humor to relieve the tension if if was his first time too. Girls put a lot of pressure on guys for performance and stamina so you can see how nerve racking your first few times can be especially if your uncercumsized...they can feel: everything.
OneFourNine 9
Did you teach him how to finish you off after he did? A hard-on is not required. Does he / do you know how to get a penis hard again in less than 60 seconds? Don't worry, with a bit of attention, sex does get better with experience. In the meantime - assuming that your boyfriend is young - tell him to jerk off 60 to 30 minutes before you have sex. That is a very old trick that actually works. It should give him some lasting power.
Cebolamole 13
It seems you didn't enjoy your flight.
JKPwnage 27
The flight attendant never came with the peanuts
lovefrog 14
more like prepare for fake-off.
ukeandfoodislife 19
OP, it may seem like a really bad thing right now, but a lot of people's first times are nowhere near perfect, since they're usually nervous. Don't sweat it! Although if him saying that bothered you, let him know. Having an open talk about your sex life is healthy and you can talk to him about your needs being met. (:
Emma1562 35
No the cockpit has entered the pilot
Enkeria 30
At least he has good puns. Lol.
WOTAN1488 24
That's ****** awesome lol. However, he'll need more flight time to increase his flight time...so to speak
exoticDeath 20
There's always next time? Practice makes perfect.
happypenguins 24
He had the chance, and he took it