Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
MikaykayUnicorn 36
"Prepare for take off."
pizzafrommars 14
Lemme tell a similar story. Happened about an hour ago. I attempted to lose my virginity to the most beautiful girl on earth. Couldn't get it up.
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Comments (115)
xoxoblondee 31
Let's hope next time the pilot comes prepared for a much longer flight.
0h_Boy 26
"Houston, we have a problem"
dantee2005 33
Doesn't matter had sex
420west 4
damn, u needta find a man with a lil more class...... shouldnt b too hard, the bar seems to b set quite low
clairesucks 37
* Damn, you need to find a man with a little more class.......shouldn't be too hard, the bar seems to be set.
Rkikkas9713 25
If you're going to correct someone else's grammar, at least have proper grammar yourself. At the very least correct everything and don't leave out the last few words.
clairesucks 37
I apologise, I'm using the app and those words didn't come up. I only found out when I checked the website and the whole comment came up. But your right I try too hard
thatsme293 28
Looks like the pilot got the hell out of that cockpit.
worldclassrager 41
Does he want to become a pilot or something?
vikky538 29
You have know OP... Some flights land before they take off...
ProfessorMctitie 20
lift off!
RedPillSucks 33
Just like when food hits the ground, there should be a 5 second rule when losing your virginity.
GreyJedi 10
It seems he followed the 5 second rule.
JKPwnage 27
So you have to eat it right after you drop it?
EpicJackman 12
"The Eagle has landed!"