Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
MikaykayUnicorn 36
"Prepare for take off."
pizzafrommars 14
Lemme tell a similar story. Happened about an hour ago. I attempted to lose my virginity to the most beautiful girl on earth. Couldn't get it up.
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Comments (115)
EyRaB 17
A two pump man ! You've got a keeper ;)
openminded8 17
at least he didn't call it "your little black box"...
hanikayy 15
I'm guessing he was a virgin as well?
summergirl69 16
I lost mine on the 10th of this month. My story isn't much better.
tj4234 36
Cabin crew prepare for landing
Adamjohn82 19
The eagle has landed
JKPwnage 27
The aviation puns are strong with these commenters
kalbrek009 20
Ran out of fuel on the runway is what it sounds like happened to him....no wait, he "ejected" before takeoff....bad pilot! Did you take his license & tell him he's forever in a "no fly" zone with you?
anonymousgirl4_fml 11
"Prepare for turbulence"
connaughty0225 16
All you need to be happy about op is that you felt like he was the right one.. The rest of it you can laugh about later