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not the scalpel Paso Robles, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Weird

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

gc327072 31

Tell him to cut that out!

DocBastard 40

Let's cut to the chase - he doesn't sound very sharp. I may be walking a razor-thin line here, but you need to get to the bottom of this immediately. Maybe he just blade a game with you, but it might go deeper than that.

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Comments (117)

ChampionKO 6

Kinky...

Futacy 30

What kind of wierd S&M is your boyfriend into?

Kn0wledge123 21

They're on the cutting edge.

VenomSiphon 13

He must be a med student

P374RD3D 9

He wants to play doctor

A83_fml 18

Scissors... Scalpel.. Magic wand.. What?

mowmowlife 21

Why is everybody getting so huffy with the dislikes? It's funny. Somehow someone is attracted to the idea of sleek hospitalware. Maybe like another would to garage hardware tools. I personally think the former is cooler

TheDrudgeChild 4

Ah, surgical fetishes. OP, you may wanna find a kinky nurse outfit while you're at it.

PinkieKeen 20

Don't be supposed when he's shaving dead skin off your thighs while your hanging from a chain.

ieatpikmin 0

Cuz you dig in him like a boss.

retrorewind 13

wtf is that suppose to mean?

syki 22

...I thought he was meant to be 'digging' in *her*.

xXRaider68Xx 2

Finger nails to the back?

Boygenius50 8

Doesn't matter had sex.

ieatpikmin 0

Cuz he digs you like a boss.*

gc327072 31

Tell him to cut that out!

xlord 27

A sharp tone might not be the right answer. Wouldn't want to wound his ego, would we?

Dr0reos 8

Dress like a nurse next time youre in bed and see what happenes

CherryLipBalm 1

That is an excellent comment *claps*

gc327072 31

54- Thank you, Thank you.

jmwarmanuprr 5

That's puny

gc327072 31

How is that puny? I thought it was quite robust. Or did you mean punny?

Inheritance 10

At least he didn't say 'Fus Ro Duh' when he came.

CaptainDoorknob 7

3 wins at life.

SwagPuppet 3

Scalpel fetish? Hey, you never know!

Psych101 9

Seriously though, how would that even work? What could you possibly do with a scalpel? Just so everyone knows, that was a rhetorical question. Please don't tell me what the answer is; I don't think I wanna know.

gottalovecondoms 0

I was gonna answer your question but idk what that even is.

xMidna 6

People who don't understand scalpel fetishes have never seem Repo! the Genetic Opera

Jenna_Richards 4

I thought of Repo too!

Psycho_Babydoll 26

He could be fantasizing about his own little scalpel ****. Amber Sweet, watch your back.

Snazzy_Snaz 17

Is it safe to say that he might wanna perform an "operation" on your ******?

gashing 2

My ur ****** is boney an sharp anybody think of that option?

Pandacupcakelove 26

You probably don't want to know...

courtz94 24

This could be good or bad, but it doesn't looking you're gonna find out. Try not to worry about it, or keep trying to coax it out of him.

acidkitten 14

I'm confused about the 'good' part...

cliffibom 15

And the "doesn't looking" part

IQuicklyEscalate 0

And that "doesn't" part…

kamron907 0

At least she's good looking ;)

sdroze1389 31

shame on you! the internet it's no place to make pathetic attempts at flirting!

expertsmilee 26

That must cut pretty deep...

BeachBoi_Alex 7

Its simple.

jdimaria3 13

We kill the Batman.

gc327072 31

Dangit 27!

MrElephant 5

Maybe his other girlfriend's name is Scalpel.

gc327072 31

There's sarcasm, and then there's lame jokes.

mowmowlife 21

Lame jokes are great. I don't see what everybody's getting huffy about with the dislikes

klx125cross 9

Are you implying that OPs boyfriend is cheating? You basterd!

enormouselephant 15

I liked your joke, mostly because of your username though:)

crazy4uboi 6

You spelt bastard wrong... Just saying

Mademoiselle_fml 34

I thought it was funny... probably because of the sheer impossibility that his other girlfriend's name is Scalpel. (If he even has another girlfriend.) Sounds like something the 'idiot' character in Monty Python would say. :p

DocBastard 40

Let's cut to the chase - he doesn't sound very sharp. I may be walking a razor-thin line here, but you need to get to the bottom of this immediately. Maybe he just blade a game with you, but it might go deeper than that.

jem970 19

*twitches* so many puns. Good job Doc.

SerendipityRose 26

I think Doc's just trying to hide the truth behind so many puns... We all know this is a post dated FML that his Wife wrote from when they were dating during his residency. Did you at least apologize & promise to find another time to study?

DocBastard 40

*looks around furtively* I, uh, don't know what you're talking about. Hey, what's that over there? *moves to Mumbai*

gc327072 31

>finds you in Mumbai >Shoots your car, you drive off a bridge and into a river >My agents chase you around the globe >Becomes movie >mfw The Bourne Supremacy

njgohard 16

Bourne Supremacy FTW

immataco 9

I love you. You made my day. XD

Seiko_fml 15

This is the best comment I have ever read.