By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 03:11 - United States - Omaha

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 169
You deserved it 7 073

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Sex Rule #1: If you draw blood, you're doing it wrong. Exception: Virgins

At least he seems to think it was worth it


How exactly do you cut your arm so deep from masturbation that you have to get stitches?? That's what we all wanna know! Was his dick made of chainsaw blades or something? Lol

Oh shit, I completely misread the fml. Well, I guess a better question would be how do you cut your arm so deep from sex? Must've been that intense.

from masturbation? I thought she said sex.

StupidSauce 5

Very carefully.

this thread is going nowhere..

nnnope 26

1 - it sounds like OP's boyfriend is the type of guy who gets off on pain/blood. he probably cut himself intentionally, but wasn't careful about it.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

I'm pretty fucking sure he didn't slice his own arm during sex. Some girls have long nails and during that intense moment of euphoria they sometimes scratch you. Now I never had to go to a hospital because of that, but I've certainly had some marks that lasted a week or so. My guess is she dug her nails into his arms when she was having an orgasm.

70- Finally someone gets it.

RedPillSucks 31

Damn. It's a good thing they weren't doing 69. That would have been tragic!

Actually there are people out there that will burn , cut , or even purposely get stung by bees during sex or masturbation because it makes their orgasm so intense .

KoveGames 5

It's not a thread these are the comments

He at least was happy about it all.

At least he seems to think it was worth it

You're very pretty!

SmallyBigs 9

Maybe he's into that kinky, painful stuff...

Sex Rule #1: If you draw blood, you're doing it wrong. Exception: Virgins

Unless it is the extreme version. Pretty hardcore.

Or if you're into biting...

A wise man once said if you see the color of the flow turn red, head to the mud.

A period never stopped nothing but a sentence

"If the Red River flows, take the Dirty Road"

Lol... Good one...

22, not your sentence, apparently.

You guys do know that girls don't actually bleed when their hymens get stretched, right? If it's bleeding ya'll are doing it wrong.

Uh guys, take it from a girl who's lost her v-card. If you stretch her properly then she shouldn't bleed during sex. The only way it'll bleed is if you're being at least a little rough.

What if shes on her period?

That's irrelevant...period sex isn't worth it...

asnakelovinbabe 16

Oh yes, take it from ONE girl who "has lost her v-card" because she must know how ALL women experience their first time. Some women do inevitably bleed the first time they have sex even when they take it very slow. Others do not. It depends on her individual body as well as his! If she is small, and he has a gigantic weiner, then it is probably going to be a little unpleasant and/or bloody no matter how slow it goes. There is really no nice way to break a vagina in. (That is one sentence I didn't think I would ever type) Either way it is absolutely nothing to be concerned about or to make a big deal out of... If she's not gushing blood like a fountain, she'll be fine. If she is.... Well she should probably seek medical attention ASAP!

TheDrifter 23

I actually can't think of a bad way to break in a vagina. All the ways I can come up with sound pretty fun. Plus kudos for using the word wiener.

I think this may be slightly too much information ma'am

genius lol

Exception to the exception: the only virgin in the act is male.

Inhuman87 4

Secondary exception: Sadism/Sadomasochism

#4 - Pfft if you draw blood you're doing it right, very right.

Doctor: So, how'd you get this injury? Your Boyfriend: So this is how it all went down, me and my girl were gettin' it on and then BOOM! I orgasmed so hard my skin split!

Apparently you don't understand fetishes

"break a vagina in" I just found my new favorite phrase.

beelee1988 13

66, you do know that DocBastard is a REAL doctor right? He may not be an OB/GYN, but I'm sure he knows a little more than you do about what goes down in the vagina. Being a girl doesn't make you an expert.

KoveGames 5

She didn't, she used weiner

Not exception virgins. If you draw blood you're doing it wrong period. Hymen is not supposed to "tear" it stretches.

#120 DocBastard is right. Please do proper research from actual medical sources before you comment with ignorance.

If he is explaining it to the doctor it must have been great. He now has a scar to remember the moment forever lol.

Right. Doesn't really seem like an FML. Sounds like a good time to me.

Doesn't matter had sex.

Trix_Disorder 20

This actually works well for this FML. How refreshing.

fishstick557 14

Well that's not awkward. At all

Am I the only one who is wondering how the fuck he cut his arm during sex?!

you, Me and everyone we know

yes. shit happens.

That'd be a whole new level of "needle dick"

fell off the bed maybe? thats my best guess.

Girlfriends nails?

I want to know how he cut his arm. Did your vagina dentata bite him?

RedPillSucks 31

Stitches on his arm. So unless he was fisting her and went in elbow deep...

That was what I was alluding to.

caohm 18

looks like ends justify the means but you may want to keep 911 on speed dial next time since it seems y'all are into the weird stuff.

You need speed dial for 911?

May I ask, what is the number for 911? I always forget it.