By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML I agree, your life sucks 34269 You deserved it 4973 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sexychica - United States Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML I agree, your life sucks 58266 You deserved it 6329 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Kerman Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML I agree, your life sucks 48183 You deserved it 7254 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ, and I am a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 36455 You deserved it 4703 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fartwoman - United States Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML I agree, your life sucks 21073 You deserved it 62739 256 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ziatenaj - United States Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML I agree, your life sucks 30130 You deserved it 2949 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stairs? Noooooo - United States - San Leandro Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML I agree, your life sucks 29803 You deserved it 1509 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unrequited - United States Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML I agree, your life sucks 42450 You deserved it 13164 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/12/2020 10:01 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes The World won't Listen Today, I went round to see a friend who recently had a heart attack and was finding it difficult to shop for herself. She complained about the food being "too healthy" and wanted bags of chips and frozen rubbish instead. Her being overweight directly caused her heart attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 716 You deserved it 71 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jitiizer - Netherlands - Leeuwarden Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML I agree, your life sucks 34815 You deserved it 2301 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Halloween Fail - United States - Braidwood Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML I agree, your life sucks 37826 You deserved it 7555 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam - United States - San Francisco Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML I agree, your life sucks 48858 You deserved it 4405 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boiler packed up on me just as the weather has turned cold, with no money to have it fixed. Hello to a week of freezing cold showers. FML I agree, your life sucks 2140 You deserved it 149 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sisco2901 - Slovakia Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 35251 You deserved it 5277 207 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DesDri - Canada Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML I agree, your life sucks 45411 You deserved it 4914 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bernadette Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML I agree, your life sucks 11119 You deserved it 30510 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Too manly - United States - Stockton Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 42417 You deserved it 4514 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stressed Mother - United States - Piscataway Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML I agree, your life sucks 37888 You deserved it 5952 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KDM - Australia Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML I agree, your life sucks 24877 You deserved it 6577 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML I agree, your life sucks 29482 You deserved it 2816 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TooInnocent - United Kingdom - Sheffield Today, I was told that I was no longer being considered for the Prison Officer job I have been interviewed for, because a social media check showed I had liked a picture of drugs, so my character is inappropriate. I thought it was a picture of candy. I've never even tried weed. FML I agree, your life sucks 10877 You deserved it 2187 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nick - Australia - Sydney Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML I agree, your life sucks 26186 You deserved it 6681 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatedogs - United States Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML I agree, your life sucks 42796 You deserved it 19856 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By embarassinggg - United Kingdom - Brighton Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML I agree, your life sucks 31434 You deserved it 2458 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Quackadoodledoo - United Kingdom - Edgware Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 39099 You deserved it 5382 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By appropriatepolice - United States Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML I agree, your life sucks 23780 You deserved it 13646 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Beaverton Today, I had my first job interview after three years of unemployment. I was so happy that I broke down into tears the moment I saw the interviewer. Great first impression. FML I agree, your life sucks 42341 You deserved it 6551 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By life_suxxx - United States Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML I agree, your life sucks 9292 You deserved it 33437 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By J - United States - Englewood Today, I heard from multiple people that my girlfriend called me a dumbass because I apparently sent her "Good Morning" twice. We aren't even three full days into the relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 13450 You deserved it 1511 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML I agree, your life sucks 21374 You deserved it 1692 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By needfulthing - United States Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML I agree, your life sucks 31641 You deserved it 3799 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jalapeno_popper - Canada Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML I agree, your life sucks 7586 You deserved it 34594 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Denver Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML I agree, your life sucks 58131 You deserved it 5451 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HBCruiser Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying. My house is all closed up. I’m not cooking anything. FML I agree, your life sucks 1435 You deserved it 150 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hugedissapointment - United States Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML I agree, your life sucks 12886 You deserved it 63435 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RootyTootToot Today, I got a call from "No Caller ID", which usually only shows up when someone calls from my house phone. Thinking it was my kids, I answered imitating a cartoon voice. It wasn't my kids. It was the district attorney's office calling about the job I applied for. FML I agree, your life sucks 2522 You deserved it 1439 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Newtown Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 18574 You deserved it 34770 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Broccolliboyy - United States - Colfax Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 51886 You deserved it 6904 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML I agree, your life sucks 28405 You deserved it 1994 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By icecreamer - United States Today, I went over to get some ice cream. I found a rare parking spot in front of the store, and even had change in my pocket. After feeding the meter, A lady comes up to me and tells me that the meter was free after 8 o'clock. I paid 50 cents for it. I was 50 cents short for my ice cream. FML I agree, your life sucks 42938 You deserved it 12677 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ositsranielle - United States Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML I agree, your life sucks 23130 You deserved it 8153 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stieglar | 17 #6331727 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:50 Next time it happens push his head back down. Hard. Send a private message 420 15 Reply
By A07 | 48 #6331720 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:43 I'm guessing he didn't really know he'd struck gold? Sorry OP Send a private message 348 6 Reply
By fpants2010 | 18 #6331708 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:38 That's a mood killer huh? Hope you were able to finish!! Send a private message 174 8 Reply
Reply IWishIWasObama | 12 #6332082 - Thursday 25 June 2015 19:36 maybe he thought he was hurting her. Send a private message 44 4 Reply
Reply ColonelCusswords | 24 #6332481 - Friday 26 June 2015 4:49 Finishing is the most important thing here Send a private message 7 1 Reply
By pauliegon | 18 #6331709 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:38 Must've been his first time? LOL Send a private message 15 54 Reply
By Cads1 | 24 #6331710 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:39 At least you yelled his name! Send a private message 163 4 Reply
Reply EarlFug | 19 #6332436 - Friday 26 June 2015 3:16 Agreed, at least your guy is food! Send a private message 7 10 Reply
Reply EarlFug | 19 #6333220 - Saturday 27 June 2015 3:39 Whoops. At least your guy is good. Not food. Send a private message 23 1 Reply
By Fiorella1 | 19 #6331716 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:41 At least you didn't yell someone else's name. Send a private message 193 6 Reply
Reply AnirudhR | 16 #6332085 - Thursday 25 June 2015 19:40 I Wed thee Rachel Send a private message 52 5 Reply
Reply imhope | 23 #6357318 - Wednesday 22 July 2015 2:23 Aye haha love that show Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By hoosiergirl94 | 31 #6331717 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:41 What an idiot Send a private message 22 94 Reply
Reply vampire623 | 6 #6332047 - Thursday 25 June 2015 19:16 what abitch ^ Send a private message 108 6 Reply
Reply ColonelCusswords | 24 #6332484 - Friday 26 June 2015 4:50 I gasped at the perfection of this comment and reply Send a private message 12 3 Reply
By AndyPurdy | 31 #6331718 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:42 Lol,stupid Send a private message 8 74 Reply
By A07 | 48 #6331720 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:43 I'm guessing he didn't really know he'd struck gold? Sorry OP Send a private message 348 6 Reply
By AndyPurdy | 31 #6331723 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:47 Im guessing this is his first time Send a private message 5 65 Reply
Reply Mauskau | 35 #6331922 - Thursday 25 June 2015 16:57 Judging by your two successive comments which have both failed badly, in guessing it's your first time here. Welcome to FML, I'll be your guide. Send a private message 114 6 Reply
By Hauclir | 14 #6331724 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:48 You sure it was the right name? Send a private message 13 40 Reply
Reply carebear1228 | 20 #6331778 - Thursday 25 June 2015 13:56 "I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name..." I'm pretty sure it was his name. Send a private message 52 0 Reply
By stieglar | 17 #6331727 - Thursday 25 June 2015 12:50 Next time it happens push his head back down. Hard. Send a private message 420 15 Reply
Reply SubparAtBest | 23 #6331779 - Thursday 25 June 2015 13:58 Bruh this aint always good... especially when u cant breathe and shes pushing your head down. its the struggle. Send a private message 65 3 Reply
Reply WMidyette | 4 #6331818 - Thursday 25 June 2015 14:47 The struggle is real. Send a private message 24 2 Reply
Reply Malecent | 13 #6332096 - Thursday 25 June 2015 19:46 a girl did that to me when I didnt know what sex was. I could barely breathe :( Send a private message 0 21 Reply
Reply SubparAtBest | 23 #6332422 - Friday 26 June 2015 2:43 #59 it appears you still dont. Send a private message 17 0 Reply
Reply Amorettex | 19 #6332429 - Friday 26 June 2015 2:57 Love it lol!! Send a private message 1 1 Reply
Reply ColonelCusswords | 24 #6332488 - Friday 26 June 2015 4:54 Talk about literally drowning in the pussy Send a private message 14 1 Reply
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 292 You deserved it 212 4 Comments
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how... I agree, your life sucks 290 You deserved it 381 6 Comments