By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Spicy
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 322
You deserved it 10 371

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Lmao he's jealous of a vibrator.

I hope you used protection. Wouldn't want to get hearing AIDS ;)

Comments

Maybe he's just a little self conscious about his performance OP ... maybe he feels uu like the vibrator more than him

The vibrator must one hell of a competition

56 - I agree, however, if the boyfriend in the scenario you mentioned would think for a moment, he'd realize that having phone sex without being vocal kinda beats the point. I mean... If both sides are quiet you might as well hang up :p.

56-I'd thumb you up but your comment is to big for my phone.

71- That's what he said.

Thats not how you spell damn thats how :)

I literally could never be with a guy that's not ok with his girl using a vib haha.

71, I've run into this before. Just be sure to take things slowly. There is no substitute for adequate foreplay and plenty of lube. With a truly caring partner who's willing to take the right steps for your comfort and enjoyment, your phone will likely be able to accommodate pretty much any size comment. Derp. Didn't see 83.

Become super jealous of his hand.

There are a lot of lesbian-identified women who also prefer nonrepresentational toys for reasons I trust are obvious. At least one major internet toy vendor has them separated into "representational" and "nonrepresentational".

I don't get it.... Like whats the pleasure in phone sex? :S it's so stupid

@#127, The phone sex is if you are away for each other and want each other, In a long-distance relationship, a way to keep close if drifting apart during a time when they're not together. etc People claim it feels better with someone listening/watching/whatever..

He might be retarded, you should get him checked. Or, better yet, get a new one.

Maybe you should just throw away the vibrator and let your man focus on pleasing you? My woman doesn't need a vibrator!

103 - Well keep looking cus with a face like that you don't really have the choice of being picky. Nomsayin

175, with an attitude like that you can't be picky either.

Lol, I'd be mad too. How can you compete with a vibrator, haha

175- Wow. Then you best be completely desperate because with a personality like yours, you have even less choice. Nomsayin?

180, 200 - Here come the white knights to the rescue. Good luck with your forever alone goals of 2012.

180, 200 - Here come the white knights to the rescue. Good luck with your forever alone goals of 2012.

Lmao he's jealous of a vibrator.

That's pathetic that he is jealous of a vibrator, Lol... He's just like the one boyfriend who called his girlfriend a selfish bitch for not putting the cat away when the cat meowed... lmao, fyl op, just finish! :D

Dude maybe it's one of those huge ass ones, Like the size of an arm, those are a little intimidating haha

Well maybe the vibrator can actually make OP orgasm and her boyfriend can't.

87- i dont think he knew what the vibrator looked like unless OP explained that as well which i highly doubt. Anyways, thats some crazy ass porn you are watching if the dildos the size of your arm. :x

Come on man you never accidentally got taken to the dark side of porn!!!!

Get your man's Wong casted and have a dildo replica xD that way he can't get jealous. Well I think it work -stares-

He's jealous because it does a better job in her then he does. Haha.

Maybe he was just sick of hearing shit about her vibrator?did you think of the possibility that it didn't really turn him on?

147 - "Babe, I don't know, but all this talk about your vibrator ruins the mood for me." One sentence would have fixed it, he didn't need to be that harsh.

Men get super-jealous about vibrators.

Insecure, stupid men* Fixed that for you. You're welcome.

Not real men they know a vibrater ant got shut on the real thing sound to me like he is small lol

This is hilarious. But; boyfriends come and go, but a vibrator will always be there for you.

Of course the doc had to say something about it, but in their defense they feel that they cannot keep up with a vibrator. As a matter of fact vibrators are meant to out last and perform similar to comparing an assembly line worker and an assembly machine. It's meant to do the job better so as a man he/they feel "out shined" because of it. A feeling of replacement. And by the way prolonged exposure (every day/other day) to a vibrator can make the vagina dull to the sense of a penis because it is used to a vibrator.

^ But it's JUST a vibrator; end of story! OP's boyfriend is acting as if it's going to replace him. She can't kiss, cuddle, or have s-- well, she could, but that'd just be weird. Whatever, OP's boyfriend is just overreacting, lol :}D

Guren - What the hell are you talking about? We feel that we can't keep up?? Meant to outlast? What the fuck are you smoking? A vibrator is in no way meant to do a "better job" than a man. They are completely different. Can a vibrator kiss a woman? Can it whisper in her ear? Can it lick, nibble, suck, tease, or caress? No, no, no, no, and no. No real man is threatened by a vibrator, just like women shouldn't be threatened by a man's hand. A real man uses it during sex to elevate the experience for her.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

It isn't about NEEDING to use it, you clueless fucking jackass. It's about maximising someone else's pleasure, something I'm sure you know nothing about. Can your penis vibrate? No. It's an entirely different sensation, and when you ADD it to sex, it can make it explosive. Real men CHOOSE to use it because most women enjoy it. Real men don't think they and their dicks are god's gift to women like you apparently do. Moron.

I don't think all men would be jealous. My ex liked to use the vibrator on me during foreplay. It can be a useful tool if your partner knows how to use it

I completely agree with you doc. Amen.

86 - Actually, real men do use vibrators. Real men understand good sex is more than inserting penis A into vagina B and rocking back and forth for 27 seconds. Real men understand the value of the tools available to assist them in providing pleasure to their partner. Insecure, stupid men think all they need is a dick and 30 seconds.

105- You basically just paraphrased exactly what Doc said. You must've seen Doc's comment, because a.) he replied right under 86 and b.) he replied almost an hour before you did. Not trying to troll, just curious: Were you going for something different? Or were you just wingin' it?

As a girl I really have to say that for me a vibrator really is just an add on. The orgasm feels great don't get me wrong, but then having sex after using the vibrator is ten times better. The guy is definitely needed in that equation though. It's the vibrator that can be left out when using other techniques.

58- as long as we have batteries they please us more then a 2 pump chump like you ever could

It's for good reason though lol no matter how hard I try.. I can't make my penis vibrate. Maybe buzz after a few pots of coffee, but yeah .. Lol

Maybe he's just jealous because he didn't get to use it too.

Thats good to know

75- I've never had the FML happen to me before, making me not have an opinion on it. But after reading that, I can agree 100% with you.

122: I'm loving the two-pump chump thing- never heard it before, hahaha. (;

That has not been my personal experience, not sure with other men. What is there to be jealous for?

I hope you used protection. Wouldn't want to get hearing AIDS ;)

People are thumbing you down but I thought that was pretty funny :D

It is funny, I want positive thumbs for you llama :) Here's a thumb up from me.

Ah, Cyanide and Happiness.

If we could we would......

And if they cleaned, washed the dishes and cooked they would be priceless.

Men don't really do that either, so...

5) I don't think anything would replace having a real relationship even if the vibrator would talk to you

Sorry 49 I don't agree Some men are assholes.

You re right some men, not all of us. Just like some women are .......

To be honest once we see 2 or 3 guys that we deal with, and they decide to be an asshole we just get the same idea with the rest of them. You can't really find a good man now adays, they are one in a million...

It's a vicious cycle, really. Nice guy dates bitch. She mistreats and dumps him, leaving an asshole. Newly reborn asshole dates nice girl, treats her like crap, dumps her and leaves a newly reborn bitch. We do it to each other.

Maybe he had a bad experience with a vibrator as a child... D: I feel his pain. *shudders*

Oh god not the noise again. It makes my privates hurt!

Hahaa why did this get so many low ratings??? xD

I sense a bit of jealousy. If he gets jealous of a vibrator...

. . . it must be a rabbit ;)

It's fair enough to be jealous of other men, but a plastic piece of kit? He must think that vibrator pleasures you more than he does.

Maybe he's mad cause shes hogging it , just imagine them in bed and hes not getting any.