By not the scalpel - 15/09/2012 07:36 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 611
You deserved it 3 075

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Tell him to cut that out!

Let's cut to the chase - he doesn't sound very sharp. I may be walking a razor-thin line here, but you need to get to the bottom of this immediately. Maybe he just blade a game with you, but it might go deeper than that.


What kind of wierd S&M is your boyfriend into?

Kn0wledge123 21

They're on the cutting edge.

He must be a med student

He wants to play doctor

Scissors... Scalpel.. Magic wand.. What?

mowmowlife 21

Why is everybody getting so huffy with the dislikes? It's funny. Somehow someone is attracted to the idea of sleek hospitalware. Maybe like another would to garage hardware tools. I personally think the former is cooler

Ah, surgical fetishes. OP, you may wanna find a kinky nurse outfit while you're at it.

Don't be supposed when he's shaving dead skin off your thighs while your hanging from a chain.

Cuz you dig in him like a boss.

wtf is that suppose to mean?

...I thought he was meant to be 'digging' in *her*.

xXRaider68Xx 2

Finger nails to the back?

Boygenius50 8

Doesn't matter had sex.

Cuz he digs you like a boss.*

Tell him to cut that out!

Nice one haha

A sharp tone might not be the right answer. Wouldn't want to wound his ego, would we?

Dr0reos 8

Dress like a nurse next time youre in bed and see what happenes

CherryLipBalm 1

That is an excellent comment *claps*

54- Thank you, Thank you.

jmwarmanuprr 5

That's puny

How is that puny? I thought it was quite robust. Or did you mean punny?

Inheritance 10

At least he didn't say 'Fus Ro Duh' when he came.

CaptainDoorknob 7

3 wins at life.

Scalpel fetish? Hey, you never know!

Psych101 9

Seriously though, how would that even work? What could you possibly do with a scalpel? Just so everyone knows, that was a rhetorical question. Please don't tell me what the answer is; I don't think I wanna know.

I was gonna answer your question but idk what that even is.

People who don't understand scalpel fetishes have never seem Repo! the Genetic Opera

I thought of Repo too!

Psycho_Babydoll 26

He could be fantasizing about his own little scalpel ****. Amber Sweet, watch your back.

Is it safe to say that he might wanna perform an "operation" on your ******?

gashing 2

My ur ****** is boney an sharp anybody think of that option?

You probably don't want to know...

This could be good or bad, but it doesn't looking you're gonna find out. Try not to worry about it, or keep trying to coax it out of him.

I'm confused about the 'good' part...

And the "doesn't looking" part

IQuicklyEscalate 0

And that "doesn't" part…

At least she's good looking ;)

shame on you! the internet it's no place to make pathetic attempts at flirting!

expertsmilee 26

That must cut pretty deep...

jdimaria3 13

We kill the Batman.

Dangit 27!

Maybe his other girlfriend's name is Scalpel.

There's sarcasm, and then there's lame jokes.

mowmowlife 21

Lame jokes are great. I don't see what everybody's getting huffy about with the dislikes

Are you implying that OPs boyfriend is cheating? You basterd!

enormouselephant 15

I liked your joke, mostly because of your username though:)

crazy4uboi 6

You spelt bastard wrong... Just saying

Mademoiselle_fml 34

I thought it was funny... probably because of the sheer impossibility that his other girlfriend's name is Scalpel. (If he even has another girlfriend.) Sounds like something the 'idiot' character in Monty Python would say. :p

Let's cut to the chase - he doesn't sound very sharp. I may be walking a razor-thin line here, but you need to get to the bottom of this immediately. Maybe he just blade a game with you, but it might go deeper than that.

jem970 19

*twitches* so many puns. Good job Doc.

I think Doc's just trying to hide the truth behind so many puns... We all know this is a post dated FML that his Wife wrote from when they were dating during his residency. Did you at least apologize & promise to find another time to study?

*looks around furtively* I, uh, don't know what you're talking about. Hey, what's that over there? *moves to Mumbai*

>finds you in Mumbai >Shoots your car, you drive off a bridge and into a river >My agents chase you around the globe >Becomes movie >mfw The Bourne Supremacy


Bourne Supremacy FTW

I love you. You made my day. XD

Seiko_fml 15

This is the best comment I have ever read.