Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
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Top comments
TheStunner 0
This is one of those times you don"t trust the wise elderly.
Awsemogreeb 19
It.
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Comments (130)
TheStunner 0
This is one of those times you don"t trust the wise elderly.
J3R3MYY 14
LICK WHAT??!' (o_O)
ladycyn217 5
Idiot
Hipnog 15
His lollipop
rahavan 15
This is why I hate the bus I feel sorry for you OP.
boofgall 16
This guy in town who rides the city bus in my town everyday always asks the others around him if they "took his gloves", he's crazy. Don't "cool story bro" me. ._.
boofgall 16
I knew you couldn't resist.
MedKits 9
Probably no one would have actually "cool story bro"ed you either if you hadn't said anything about it.... Then again, I could be overestimating the people of FML...
deviable 9
Cool bro story.
cheefer 0
Bro, cool story
iStayTrollin 0
Riveting tale, chapsman!
brown4lifejot 1
This is one of the few times when public transport is scary.
yahoowizard 16
Wrong. Public transport is always scary.
LukaInTheSky 3
Yeah, you haven't really lived until a junkie throws a syringe at you on the train.
stfu_bam 5
Or when a lady gets in a fight with a confused man on the subway. Poor guy had no idea what was going on
MerrikBarbarian 9
Let's not forget the bus drivers who seem mistaken they are on a racetrack going 20-30km/h over speed limit on ice. There was also the crazy guy who decapitated a fellow passenger because voices in his head said to.
dav3800 7
What's really scary is how the old man knows what it tastes like.
badass243 6
old guys spittin game.
lalatookasheema 8
Public transportation FTW
uncleyuggles 0
Seems legit...
i_amthe_walrus 0
How could you turn down an offer like that?
IllogicalGenius 0
Well why not? I mean, there's absolutely nothing sketchy about that...besides, he says it tastes good!
twinny_sc 13
Seems legit.
Zya_fml 8
Um, that's creepy. I'm glad I walk to school. (Hopefully I didn't jinx that...)
Capt_Oblivious 10
But candy from strangers is always the best kind.