Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheStunner 0
This is one of those times you don"t trust the wise elderly.
Awsemogreeb 19
It.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
VoteForTaco 8
Did you?
GypsyRover 0
Don't ride the short buss. The only people on those busses are the window lickers!
missamazinggg 12
You, sir, are an ass.
LezBiHonest 7
Seems legit. Liiiick it!
JinxosGirl87 0
This is when your stop suddenly comes up and you run off the bus.
Dandeska 7
Pedo
Isaac_The_Man 0
I really doubt that, bud. But thanks for the fake story!
youngsofly 13
How does he know "it" tastes good?
perdix 31
You should have told him that you would after he licked yours first . . . but that yours tastes horrible. Start telling him details of your yeast infections and poor hygiene, as well as the regular monthly business, and he'll jump off at the next stop and run to buy a McRib.
Okayitwasme 0
Mace works great. Tell him he can lick it! That it tastes good.
urdirtyolduncle 15
That's why you should have a shirt like I do; Mr. Owl, from the tootsie roll ad, asking, "wanna lick?"