Transportation: Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick...

By flowerchildd2 - 12/12/2011 23:17 - United States

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 454

You deserved it 3 032

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Same thing different taste

New creepypasta

By pokeballbra - 17/10/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 096

You deserved it 4 078

By Revalation - 27/08/2011 23:06 - United States

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 562

You deserved it 3 069

By robotchickens - 10/03/2010 19:54 - United States

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 166

You deserved it 2 707

By ugly - 10/07/2011 06:03 - United States

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 177

You deserved it 3 507

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 456

You deserved it 19 420

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 881

You deserved it 3 719

By Anonymous - 08/02/2015 16:05 - United States

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 978

You deserved it 2 744

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 3 728

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 891

You deserved it 3 408

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 289

You deserved it 3 312

TheStunner 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 8:37

This is one of those times you don"t trust the wise elderly.

Awsemogreeb 19

Tuesday 13 December 2011 11:57

It.

Comments

SukiIzumi 8

Tuesday 13 December 2011 18:58

Kinda creepy...

nastyness 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:08

Just one of the many reasons I'm glad to own my own vehicle! Who knows where "it" has been...

Tommananaze6T9 4

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:24

Well he never said what "it" was,maybe "it" was a lollipop or a popsicle.

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:51

What about the 'free love' hippie shit? Doesn't sound like much of a 'Flower Child' to me!

Gigaboo 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:06

it was a sucker!!? duh!

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:07

You've got to lick it before you kick it!

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:36

you should've slapped him.

JayAyyEmm 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:58

Smile and walk away.

jay1010 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 21:09

creeper:/

unagi_fml 9

Wednesday 14 December 2011 1:27

"oh, 'kick' did you say?"

Keywords

Facebook Work Social Media Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Virginity Painful School Health Tinder Awkward Dating Love Skincare Anxiety Relatable Sextoys Poopoo peepee Art Kids Birthday Covid Relationship advice Transportation Cars Gross Family Neighbours Lonely

The Top

Today, my boyfriend proposed with the biggest, tackiest, most Geordie Shore-style ring I’ve ever seen. I said yes because I love him, but this thing is twice as wide as my finger and just looks horrible compared to the solitaire ring I told him I really liked. I’m embarrassed to be seen wearing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 501

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 794

You deserved it 3 019

Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 668

You deserved it 4 972

Today, I found out that the company I sent my wedding dress to caught fire and lost everything in their building. I was going to be the fourth generation woman in my family to wear it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 804

You deserved it 144

Today, my dear wife, an expert seamstress, took apart one shoulder of my favourite vest, looping the whole shirt through itself like a figure of eight, then stitched it back up. It took me over a full minute to realise why I suddenly couldn’t fold it flat, and she recorded me failing at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 128

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 481

You deserved it 12 225

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 258

You deserved it 123 038

Same thing different taste

New creepypasta

Great conversation starter

Top comments

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