Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
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Top comments
TheStunner 0
This is one of those times you don"t trust the wise elderly.
Awsemogreeb 19
It.
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Comments (130)
CalebEatsZombies 2
757 licks to the center and then it's like a geiser o_o
JavIin 0
10/17 - Looking at the time of your posts, that happened to you within a 10 minute time period of you saying you hope you didn't jinx it..? Highly unlikely.. Just saying.
Monkeybuttcream 4
OP, next time say "For a hundred bucks, I will lick anything" (make sure to run your toung around your lips slowly in a circular pattern to really sell it!)
rberry88 4
Best **** scene. Ever.
somewizdom 15
Did it taste good or not?
EmperorHilo 11
I always enjoy the ones about a creepy person on the bus...
McAninch35 9
Kinky?
folgy 10
That is when you say to him oh I can think of something you would enjoy more and then punch him in the knee cap laugh and run
eilef 2
How'd you know he wasn't kidding?
beebananaz88 0
Lick it and stick it
jmemo13 0
How would he know?