Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML
Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
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Top comments
TheStunner 0
This is one of those times you don"t trust the wise elderly.
Awsemogreeb 19
It.
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Comments (130)
Epsilonyx 15
Did you then accept his offer of a cherry hard candy?
ImFrackinBored 13
Cherry NyQuil Popsicles?
anonymouse7 0
Lick what?
Awsemogreeb 19
It.
fmlpro0987 0
If you need more help knowing what the old msn wanted OP to lick. Ask your mommy and daddy they will help you understand.
jroxursox1 10
Really?? Like the comment above. HARD candy. This stranger was so desperate for it. He wanted her to lick his penis haha
Shadow_Phantom 26
Ultimate creeper status achieved... FYL.
MSheary1993 1
He was clearly asking you to taste a new lollipop that he came up with.
HeXr 22
It was Willy Wonka!!
Androidz 0
More like Willy Wanka.
x3ShanTastic 0
Maybe he had some candy :)
Zya_fml 8
^ Oh my goodness, I totally jinxed it! As soon as I went for a walk some old man glared at me for a whole minute and them started barking. WTF?
Zya_fml 8
then*
MrSchneebly 5
Well if it tastes good what is your problem?
arttyruiz 7
OP, should've trusted him, I mean he did say it tasted good...
FYLDeep 26
Let him lick it if it tastes good. And if for some reason he is unable to lick whatever it is himself, then you definitely want nothing to do with this guy. Check out immediately.