Transportation: Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw...

By ugly - 10/07/2011 06:03 - United States

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 114

You deserved it 3 496

Transportation

Dysfunctional

You tried

I'm not that old!

By StungAlot - 12/06/2019 06:18

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 174

By Talented73 - 20/07/2016 02:54 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I went to a local Asian restaurant where this adorable Japanese girl works as a server. We had formed a friendship and I was hoping for something more, but I decided to play "hard-to-get" for the last couple of weeks. When I went there today, the place was closed. Permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 866

You deserved it 14 736

By anonymous - 07/12/2015 13:28 - United States - Mandeville

Today, my dad read that if you pass gas from both ends at the same time it will create a vacuum inside your body and you'll implode. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 305

You deserved it 1 670

By theish - 04/02/2011 14:08

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 889

You deserved it 6 991

By PhantomKitty - 21/10/2016 03:07 - United States - Saint Albans

Today, I called in about a job application I put in over a week ago. Apparently, the branch of the company that I applied to was never given my information, and the position was filled days ago. I've been checking the status of the position online daily, and it still says that it's open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 184

You deserved it 897

By udnrizh - 08/10/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, I got a weird feeling about the account balance in my savings account. Turns out my fiancé has been using my account to order random items whenever he likes. This account is my savings for college tuition and related expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 362

You deserved it 5 336

By ugly me - 24/10/2010 00:50 - United States

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 339

You deserved it 3 604

By weddingblues - 30/05/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 513

You deserved it 23 585

By Anonymous - 25/02/2014 21:17 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 005

You deserved it 4 519

By sheryl_m - 09/04/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 053

You deserved it 4 526

By "lk07" - 27/10/2017 23:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, after selling things on eBay all week to afford a nice weekend with my husband and kids, my car died. Now we have to spend the money on a battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 578

You deserved it 316

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:42 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 162

You deserved it 3 077

Sweet dude

By no booze blues - 21/10/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out some cabinets and stumbled upon a bottle of vodka. Being a recovering alcoholic, I immediately flushed it down the toilet. When my boyfriend got home, instead of being proud of my victory, he bitched me out for wasting the good shit. That’s for the support babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 262

By tsakashvili - 26/05/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 765

You deserved it 18 871

Ninja!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 06:02 - Australia - Perth

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 168

You deserved it 36 925

By pervert - 09/01/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 499

You deserved it 28 628

By Nadaz - 05/04/2012 11:29 - United States - Charlotte

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 266

You deserved it 13 525

By madzlovesgee - 16/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 706

You deserved it 53 273

By that1guy - 14/03/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 821

You deserved it 6 290

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 791

You deserved it 43 117

By kraussy - 04/05/2009 06:28 - United States

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 5 309

By sadness - 29/11/2010 18:58 - South Africa

Today, I went to see a psychiatrist for my depression and low self esteem. While in the waiting room, I overheard a guy telling his friend how ugly I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 515

You deserved it 4 007

Hair of the dog

By Anonymous - 27/09/2019 00:01

Today, I spent 15 minutes scrubbing the bathtub, just to have my roommate come home and give their dog a bath in it. They didn't even rinse it or pull the hair out. I don't know what makes it more annoying, that I'm 6 months pregnant and do all the cleaning while working full-time, or that we have a hose outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 187

By Coccinelle - 05/02/2016 16:36 - France

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 324

You deserved it 2 713

Control

By Username - 23/03/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, my future mother-in-law informed me that since she is putting money into our wedding, that all the planning and arrangements are under her authority. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 233

You deserved it 6 879

By Anonymous - 16/11/2014 03:44 - Australia

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 526

You deserved it 2 875

By Anonymous - 28/08/2011 06:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 922

You deserved it 6 350

Bodyshaming

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my coworker doesn't want to go to lunch with me anymore, after I lost a load of weight in lockdown and she's still "overweight." Apparently, I've "changed, and not the same person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 54

By joe - 02/01/2009 11:09 - France

Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 423

You deserved it 37 782

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 101

You deserved it 2 560

By Anonymous - 18/10/2015 17:00 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I was at K-Mart and saw an exact copy of my engagement ring for twenty bucks. The same one that had supposedly been in my fiancé's family for generations, and worth thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 3 009

By Rabite - 15/09/2016 14:48 - Germany - Bonn

Today, I called a cab to get me and my cat home from the vet. After a 40 minute wait and three calls to the taxi company, the operator told me that the driver she sent to my location just confirmed that he already has a woman with my name and a cat in his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 972

You deserved it 755

By Anonymou$ - 06/11/2014 23:37 - United States - Daphne

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 971

You deserved it 7 775

By IhateThem - 14/05/2011 05:07 - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 992

You deserved it 4 693

By clumsy - 07/05/2013 00:45 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 827

You deserved it 53 875

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 484

You deserved it 3 528

How not to raise them

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 14:00

Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 367

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 13:25 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was at the mall with my mom, when I saw a little pamphlet about a charity for abused children. I showed her and said I was going to donate a few dollars. She quickly said no, calling it a waste of money and muttering that the kids probably deserved it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 499

You deserved it 1 803

By dickofbrokendreams - 02/03/2015 05:14 - United States - Waynesville

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 902

You deserved it 3 458

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Top comments

daniel1_1 13

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Sunday 10 July 2011 15:59

Spit on him.

ComTlancy 12

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:01

That is soda-pressing......c way I did thar?

daniel1_1 13

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Sunday 10 July 2011 15:59

Spit on him.

jglenn88 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:04

ya or just walk by him/her and rip ass in his/her face

kyanisaurus 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:04

american? sue him.

volley4eva1698 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:05

sit next to him anyway

KatrinaKitten 16

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:09

This FML reminds me of the What Would You Do? Episode where they tested how your appearance affects people's treatment of you..

princessbits 17

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:17

I love New York

takanuva0123 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:22

You gotta look at the positive side, you got to see the crazy side of New York AND a free soda!!!!

baddud300 6

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:26

Maybe it was taken?

Laughing_Cow 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:28

I love What Would You Do?

Y__U__NO 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 18:23

OP, Y U NO PIMP SLAP KID IN FACE?

Emmi3xo 4

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Sunday 10 July 2011 18:49

I don't think spitting on him is as bad as getting a soda thrown in your face...

nicobington 1

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Sunday 10 July 2011 19:05

holy shit your picture

PushMyButtons 5

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Sunday 10 July 2011 19:16

I wanna know why she deserved it. cuz I dont think she did.

cupcakesmile23 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 20:23

Lmao I laughed at this

urdirtyolduncle 15

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Sunday 10 July 2011 20:42

Gotta love New York!

2ndSucks 15

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Sunday 10 July 2011 22:24

Psh. Gotta love America in general, were all cocky assholes :)

changetheworld 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 22:45

so was it a no..?

daniel1_1 13

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Sunday 10 July 2011 23:01

Thank you 117 :). That was when I was a try hard

daniel1_1 13

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Sunday 10 July 2011 23:03

Thank you 117 :). It's from when I was a try hard

Fmls4life 6

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Sunday 10 July 2011 23:41

You must have boosted thts not legit...

Denikk 0

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Monday 11 July 2011 1:06

Thank god I'm gorgeous.

smurfsarwales 9

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Monday 11 July 2011 1:46

1's pic cud be of anyone Mebbe it's not him?

bryan4595 0

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Monday 11 July 2011 2:32

should have stopped being a prick and sat next to him...

andy231245 4

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Monday 11 July 2011 3:39

what's up with all the fmls involving bus seat ordeals?

babyfireball77 14

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Monday 11 July 2011 9:16

Maybe he thought you asked if HE was taken?

daniel1_1 13

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Monday 11 July 2011 12:57

147, look at my teams scores. How could we have boosted?

ILookAtFMLs 13

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Tuesday 9 December 2014 17:36

Spitting on someone is the lowest of the lows. A good punch right in the face ought to be sufficient.

JesseOhNine 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 15:59

ouch

Newboyz00185 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:25

NO!! The soda!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!

Laughing_Cow 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:26

there are so many I was on the bus FML's that you should just expect it

SCREAM4meeee 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 17:59

47- yeah, YDI for riding the bus

qyka 5

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Sunday 10 July 2011 18:29

hideous ppl should try to sit with other pole always ends bad... jk

genesisnirvana 11

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Sunday 10 July 2011 20:05

well they do live in New York

6969awesome 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 15:59

Kick him in the nuts. Assuming it's male

Miss_Kristen 10

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:01

"Him"

MrSassypants 32

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:48

Well you have failed. 3 just said it's nuts because like 3 was unsure of what the gender was. I am unsure of 3's gender so I kept saying 3 :). Also if you're correcting 3 do it right, it's "he is" or "he's."

Benji114 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:52

Sassypants strikes again...

biasedshooter 24

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:56

never hit a guys nuts...

promisekept 2

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:58

I actually think

ILoveSexyWhales 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 17:05

it says 'him' you dipshit.

deafeningsilence 8

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Sunday 10 July 2011 17:26

I think 8 was referencing the actual FML.

Miss_Kristen 10

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Sunday 10 July 2011 18:18

Thank you, Silence :)

Dasuss 11

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Sunday 10 July 2011 21:56

She was quoting the FML, you fucking moron.

GrahamAker 3

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Monday 11 July 2011 5:34

if a girl ever hits my nuts and I didn't lay a hand on her...... -shudders- hit me anywhere but my balls.

6969awesome 0

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Monday 11 July 2011 10:00

I just relized she said him in the FML, damn I fail :(

Miss_Kristen 10

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Monday 11 July 2011 21:50

It's all good :)

bryyxoo 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:00

wow that's fucked up

iluvfmls456 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:11

it really is. sorry op:( but this is America for ya...

OWNZ 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:55

Look on the bright side. You got a free soda! Just lick it off your shirt and face. :)

kemolegend907 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:00

sorry you're hideous :(

kemolegend907 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:14

don't be dicks i was kidding :

minidinosaurgoes 9

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:20

No one even said anything -_- for all you know the comments could have been filled with rainbows and unicorns

smurfsarwales 9

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:47

yeah but he knew because people had thumbed his comment down.

minidinosaurgoes 9

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:56

he had no thumbs at all when i first replied.

MoCheezy23 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 17:24

I wish I could bake a cake with rainbow on it & we could all be happy.

nerdfighteria 7

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Sunday 10 July 2011 19:35

#71, Do you even go here?

JodeMiVida 13

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Tuesday 12 July 2011 19:03

No, I just have a lot of feelings.

burgerburger 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 16:01

I guess the seat was taken.

funktown 2

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Sunday 10 July 2011 18:27

Looool

ImaginaryFoe 0

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Sunday 10 July 2011 18:40

Or he figured OP wouldn't want to sit next to him after that and he'd have the seat to himself. Should've plopped your wet, sticky self down right next to him and talked non-stop the entire ride.