Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

by acnebutt / 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 4:12am / United States (West Virginia) / Health

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

by sad child / 08/27/2011 at 3:45am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while waiting for a doctors appointment, my husband started playing angry birds. Continually losing the game ended up raising his blood pressure to the point where he now has to have his medication changed. The new medication is $100 copay. FML

by Username / 08/26/2011 at 8:20pm / United States / Health

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

by goldengirl / 08/26/2011 at 5:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

by ash / 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my obnoxious mother-in-law berated me in front of my husband's family for still working while pregnant. She says I'm harming the baby by not quitting. I'm only 4 months pregnant and I work as a nurse at a hospital. FML

by monsterinlaw / 08/23/2011 at 10:51am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML

by Lorus / 08/23/2011 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had a mild allergic reaction from eating pasta salad. I told my mom that I might be allergic to the parsley, since it was the only ingredient that I don't eat often. She made me eat a sprig of it to "make sure." Now my face is covered in hives. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 10:17pm / United States / Health

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

by heheheh / 08/22/2011 at 2:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

by collball22 / 08/22/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

by The captain / 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health