Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

#12420355
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (10313)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:29pm - health - by fatman - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

#12326152
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8106) - you deserved it (41531)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Somethingswrongwiththispic (woman) - United States

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

#12251275
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (2805)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

#12236512
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27863) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:10am - health - by lonely (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (3287)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

#12188597
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45963) - you deserved it (3376)

On 07/29/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by Richmond24 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

#12173397
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (3857)

On 07/28/2010 at 9:24pm - health - by dimtsis (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

#12123688
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (8201)

On 07/26/2010 at 1:09pm - health - by Andiii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

#12095964
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8519) - you deserved it (37877)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18251) - you deserved it (26767)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out how much it hurts to be shot with a paintball in your open mouth. My mouth was only open to say I was hit. FML

#12072819
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (7109)

On 07/23/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by owowowow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

#12071239
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (4299)

On 07/23/2010 at 8:06pm - health - by fiery (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: