Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML

#9131869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (9751)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by hkkilla - United States

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24566) - you deserved it (5078)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend thinks I'm too high maintenance because I have a chronic illness which requires frequent hospitalization. FML

#9059310
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (3101)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by bobby - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML

#9057957
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7111) - you deserved it (26799)

On 03/13/2010 at 9:30pm - health - by Painfulfaceforme - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

#9026047
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (7601)

On 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

#9000843
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (1761)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22301) - you deserved it (3273)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML

#8988436
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (3788)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

#8973652
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4802) - you deserved it (54562)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

#8958709
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19557) - you deserved it (2694)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by whoanoa (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

#8943287
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (5645)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:32am - health - by supermanxs1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

#8941097
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6752) - you deserved it (34022)

On 03/09/2010 at 6:14am - health - by oww - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

#8940307
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (2361)

On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: