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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML

#14805618
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37988) - you deserved it (3811)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:07am - health - by notafatlump -

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

#14755059
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8655) - you deserved it (43907)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:40am - health - by awkward drunk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (3024)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36470) - you deserved it (4296)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (2987)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (27065)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

#14700960
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (4174)

On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML

#14694956
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (2916)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:01am - health - by l0stnwundrland - United States

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

#14692086
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (8564)

On 01/23/2011 at 10:41pm - health - by Sostupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

#14662747
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (2708)

On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (3470)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML

#14659037
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33428) - you deserved it (5910)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Monaco

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (3470)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -



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