Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
What a shallow douchecanoe.
obnum 19
I'll never understand why some people feel the need to be asses.
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Comments (54)
BabyrooKid 11
That'd be the last shit that coworker ever took in a stall, because I would have beaten the shit out of him.
amanda131 4
It should be a sin to take a dump in a public restroom. I would say you deserve it for that simple thought of mine, but on the other hand, I would be more uncomfortable to think that the coworker believed you were jacking off, and felt the need to look anyways.
JennNoVa 8
Did your boss believe you when you told the truth?
KB616 11
Why are people having such a hard time understanding this FML? OP wasn't jacking off on the toilet, he was reading something funny & was "snickering". The douche bag he works with went to the boss & made up a LIE; that he heard OP making weird noises, so he peeked over the stall & saw OP masturbating. The asshole co-worker made up the whole thing, people. Y the boss thought it was okay for the coworker to peek over the stall is beyond me though. **** that job.
Waredo_Dyrge 11
At least someone here knows how to read.
DisposableMen 7
oh my gosh you were reading fmls..? XD
biologymajor1992 7
Sue him for sexual harassment and slander!
pikachulove14 14
cause there both the exact same thing....
japtap81 16
Next time don't make noises other than grunting while taking a dump in a public restroom.
Calvatron 6
Show him your history on your phone and then show him you can't delete anything without deleting everything on the history.
EffYoLife 14
He should get in trouble for looking over the divider.