Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
What a shallow douchecanoe.
obnum 19
I'll never understand why some people feel the need to be asses.
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Comments (54)
Nurd4lyfe 7
Tell on his ass for watching you take a dump! And who snickers while watching **** anyway? Only a moron would make that mistake
QueenOrangeSoda 21
I don't see where in this FML it said the guy actually looked over the stall. It said the guy *REPORTED* that he heard weird noises from OP's stall and looked over to see him jacking off to ****. If he really did look over, he wouldn't have seen OP jacking off or looking at ****, would he?
michelleJ11 25
How're you suppose to see the person in the next stall when you're also in a bathroom stall? You either look under the stall, or over the stall. Looking over the stall is the only logical way he could've 'looked over' & seen OP. He didn't look at what OP was looking at, he just automatically assumed that it was ****. That's what I got out of the FML.
rocker_chick23 27
I doubt your IQ is higher than Einsteins. If it was, you would have comprehended the FML and not make a stupid comment.
chris4u2nv5 19
Gay bitches be crazy!!!
baconboy_42 8
What an odd day to I've in Estonia. Grandpas taking pics of their junk, then this!
failure_04 4
Damn sorry dude
tehdarkness 21
Why were you snickering out loud? It is strange to laugh whilst pooping.
worldclassrager 41
Have him check your phone Internet history for that day...just hope you didn't watch anything earlier...
browniey 11
If it was me, probably reading FML is on the top of my list lol. Sorry, OP your co-worker is an asshole and plus why would he look between the stalls... creepy much.
Poppipuff 14
Wait, you don't look over the stall when you hear 'fap fap fap' with breathing noises ?! I hope your boss didn't believe him, it doesn't make sense anyway.
Spider_Web 11
Now you can look at all the **** you want
Waredo_Dyrge 11
He wasn't looking at ****.