Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
What a shallow douchecanoe.
obnum 19
I'll never understand why some people feel the need to be asses.
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Comments (54)
Cambo522 6
what an asshole!
CaiDog 20
I think his boss believed him, since his name is 'fired'
MizCherryBlossom 15
What kind of weird noises could ever be used to justify looking over the divider? I think that you should tell your boss what really happened, if you haven't already.
ni0ve 9
regardless if u were or not, why was he peeping
kpc2424 13
Fire the peeper not the whacker!
Dashelle 25
Yup, report him for peeping! And how would he know what was on your phone?
jfaucher31 4
Rats eat sh*t, and false rats die a horrible painful death
StormFire 1
imo, their both in the wrong cuz one u shouldn't b jacking off at work and two the guy shouldnt have looked over the divider. there is a time and place 4 watching **** shit and work isn't one of those places.
Waredo_Dyrge 11
Actually, the coworker falsely accused OP of masturbating in the stall. So your assessment is incorrect. OP was laughing at something he was reading on his phone (possibly FML.)
jordynsage 17
I'm glad I'm not the only one who reads FMLs while taking a dump.
monster216 7
were u ??