Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
What a shallow douchecanoe.
obnum 19
I'll never understand why some people feel the need to be asses.
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Comments (54)
CommanderCman1 15
You could argue and get your job back. I'm sure there is some sort of Internet history on your phone
luminis12 23
Your work with a complete ass. That guy just needs to mind his own business.
Hajostek 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Rookie mistake, you always use the stall. You'll learn.
ColtonStecher 12
Was he taking a dump in the urinal?
assassinbanana0 20
But he said he did, so OP could file a harassment. And if the guy says he never did it, OP's boss will realize that guy was Lying
ywolfgl 21
Maybe the dude'a jealous! He wanted a higher position in the company
sarah6786 14
If this really did happen TODAY, it is definitely not too late to report that asshole for sexual harassment. And chances are if he did that, the guy that accused him would say he hadn't peeked over and "watched" him jerk off. Which would mean not only would the OP be proving his innocence, but the accuser would be punished for making shit up.
olpally 33
What a judgmental jackass. Get his stupid ass fired.
rdenkewicz 11
Wow and he didn't get fired for looking over?!
gracehi 33
That's what I was thinking! You'd think that would be far more damning than masturbating in the privacy of bathroom stall, as inappropriate as that is as well.
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
Sexual harassment it sounds like
gracehi 33
That's like telling a cop you witnessed a theft while committing a murder. I'm stunned HE wasn't fired on the spot!