Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her...

By beerpong26 - 06/02/2009 19:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 591

You deserved it 6 885

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Same thing different taste

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 1 192

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 287

You deserved it 29 243

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 162

You deserved it 5 569

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 836

You deserved it 6 346

Hot revenge

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 00:01

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 334

By Electro - 11/02/2016 21:51 - United States - Nashua

Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 220

You deserved it 7 282

Right in the pecker

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 480

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 17 156

What kind of sex are you having?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 457

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 7 399

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 5:56

how electrifying

Bluelake3 0

Monday 23 February 2009 9:14

now THATS passionate.

Comments

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 5:56

how electrifying

maverik5124 6

Saturday 30 June 2012 9:54

at least she laughed it off

NeatNit 32

Monday 7 October 2013 22:15

at first I read ice as ice cream and I had NO IDEA what happened

lexiieeex3 32

Sunday 16 March 2014 6:12

That blows.

tin_cup 27

Monday 18 April 2016 18:16

No, not really!

jackainscough 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 9:50

Comment 19. Golden And man that sucks

quiksta 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 15:38

i finally understand what this post means. the mix-n-match style grammar and tenses slowed my decryption. this post - it means you're a whiny little bitch. a static shock is the pain equivalent of scratching yourself with the hard side of velcro. in fact i can't believe isn't more painful (or at least "shocking") having ice on your ****. drama queen. i bet you don't even have a girlfriend. if you did' you'd have better things to do than make up tall tales. besides, this can't be true. nothing in the world should make a straight man say no to a *******. you pulled your wee wee up between your legs and squealed all the way home.