Kids, Cats and Awkward: It's not what you think - FML

It's not what you think

By David - 02/07/2022 19:00 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, I had the front door open, and my cat Watson, who I often call Little Boy, was sitting in front of the screen door. I wanted to close the door so, speaking to my cat, I said, "Come here, Little Boy," at which point a young child came running up to my door. His dad yelled, "Get back here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 221

Kids Cats Awkward

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Same thing different taste

Cat people

By I’ll never see them again - 13/10/2022 08:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 196

By notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 576

You deserved it 4 945

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 16:01

Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 125

By roostergirl - 22/08/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 798

You deserved it 3 431

Hiya!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2009 11:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat!" I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 847

You deserved it 40 681

By catslave - 17/09/2016 08:43 - New Zealand

Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 059

You deserved it 1 878

By gottapee - 26/04/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 683

You deserved it 6 020

Rulers of the world

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 18:01 - Germany

Today, my mom insists on leaving both the front and kitchen door open in case the cat comes home, no matter if it gets cold inside. Yes, the cat is that important. Yes, he also has a cat flap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 91

Haunted house

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 16:58 - Germany

Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 168

By Apes - 25/03/2013 07:18 - United States - Temecula

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 481

You deserved it 5 016

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 3 July 2022 4:11

Nice cover story, you pedo pervert! Too bad the little boy's dad was there to interrupt your sick game, huh, pervert?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 4 July 2022 3:32

You're going to confuse the cat by calling him two different names. Pick a name and stick with it. But honestly, I got a chuckle out of this LOL

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 3 July 2022 4:11

Nice cover story, you pedo pervert! Too bad the little boy's dad was there to interrupt your sick game, huh, pervert?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 4 July 2022 3:32

You're going to confuse the cat by calling him two different names. Pick a name and stick with it. But honestly, I got a chuckle out of this LOL

Keywords

Weird Underwear Intimacy Sex Awkward First Dates Love LGBTQIA+ AITA Relatable Kids Parenting Gross Health Poopoo peepee DIY Money Work Ableism Religion Revenge Abuse Argument Therapist Harassment Coffee Skincare Embarrassing Parents Miscellaneous

The Top

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 074

You deserved it 2 517

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because, "It's chicken, not salmon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 125

You deserved it 3 858

The Top

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 225

You deserved it 3 717

Today, I spent more than 5 hours transcribing all the notes from my computer to a notebook then to flash cards, to drill myself for a physics test. Even though my bedroom door was closed, my mom let our new puppy in so it wouldn’t be scared by the vacuum. Yes, it peed and chewed on my notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 102

Today, I beat my old college friend at CoD and mocked him vigorously, to which he replied, “Don’t feel bad for me, I have a hot wife, a baby on the way, and a house I paid off by selling my business. How are you?” I… won a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 676

Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 2 581

Today, an email appeared in my inbox saying that the final this week that was supposed to be on Saturday has been moved forward to Thursday. It’s Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 189

You deserved it 173

Today, I learned that there's a colony of bats living inside my walls. The devices to prevent them from reentering are angering those remaining inside, and now I can hear them scuttling and screeching in almost every wall and ceiling in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 611

You deserved it 494