the birth control pill is 99.9% effective. if someone believes that their partner is on the pill they have no reason to be so over cautious as to feel the need to use a second form of contraceptive

As mentioned above, the pill only protects against pregnancy, not STI's. You can never be too careful.

And with things like the pill that are completely in the hands of one partner, it's always a good idea to also include something that you can both have control over like condoms as an additional protection. It's easy to forget to take the pill occasionally, and when that happens its effectiveness drops significantly. And if you're the man, you have no idea if and when that will happen. It's just a good idea overall to use both.

I got pregnant with both of my girls while on the pill, taken at the same time every day, and got pregnant with my son while on the Depo-shot. Some people are just super fertile and need to use more than one form on contraceptive. When my husband got his vasectomy the doctor said he cut it so there was a space between the two ends and burned the ends so they wouldn't reconnect since he knocked me up so easily even though I used birth control. No more babies since.

Goodness, woman, your uterus must be Kryptonian.

No the uterus was normal. The sperm, however, was Spartan. They even had six pack abs, which is weird being as they don't have stomachs.

You can never be too careful, my mom got pregnant with my brother on the pill, my sister got pregnant using a UTI and my aunt somehow managed to conceive her 7th child at 45 after having her tubes tied. My husband and I use condoms and the pill and I still get worried if my period is a few hours late lol.

#48: You got pregnant on the depo shot? Wow, your husband has some awesome sperm.

That's a big mistake to make when you aren't ready for or capable of caring for a child...

Dear God, I hope you never have kids. You do realize that even after the child is 18, OP will still be the parent.

I'm sure he didn't mean raise the kid for 18 years then leave them. Usually kids leave home around the time they're 18, or if they aren't together he no longer has to pay child support after 18.

#90 you're still responsible for providing for the child if they do college and/or graduate studies.

parents have to provide for their child when the child decides to get a masters or Ph.D???????? I don't think so..

Depending on your court order and your state, you will pay even through college. Look it up if you refuse to believe me.

Here in MS my mom hasto help me with college until 24. At least when it comes to apply for loans and financial aid.

feel bad for your mother...

I don't known why #159 is being down voted. It is true when you go to apply for financial aid they base it off of your parents income until you are 25.

Exactly. And there is no legal course the male can take for being decieved into producing a child. It's fraud IMO but courts don't recognize it for some reason.

The courts don't recognize it because he could have taken steps in his own. Take responsibly for you own actions.

Birth control pills are 99.9% effective. If the girl told him "No, I'm not on the pill" he most likely would have worn a condom or not have had sex with her. She deceived him plain and simple, greatly increasing the odds of getting pregnant, and risking OP's emotional welfare, as well as the financial burden OP will now have and everything else that comes along with fatherhood. OP certainly shares some responsibility in this, but it is definitely the girl who is to blame in this situation, and should be held responsible financially (but won't be).

It is not her fault. It's both of theirs. You should ALWAYS use condoms.

I fully agree with you 21, but proving that in a court of law would be almost impossible, unfortunately.

54, I think a lot of people in committed, monogamous relationships don't see a need to use condoms if the woman is on the pill.

Agreed, and once you've not used a condom, there's no coming back if you've both been tested and are monogamous.

That doesn't make it a good idea. Male birth control really needs to be promoted as much as women's for just such an occasion. You never truly know if she's taking it, if she's careful about taking it on time, and it isn't just her responsibility to be safe it's a two person act. Sadly some women see a child as a way to keep a relationship together, a quick injection keeps you safe from that for 5-10 years.

What injection is that?

@189 depo provera.

I dont see op staying in a realtionship with this girl for very long , she lied she knew what he meant by the pill but yet lied to him anyway probably hoping trap him with a child.

If she lied about the pill then technically it was tape because he did not she to sec without the pill, it would be similar to a guy taking a condom of mid act. since it was rape he would not have to be responsible for the child at all.

There's always that possibility that OP's girlfriend is a foreigner/immigrant/etc. and is simply not familiar with such lingo. A bit of benefit of the doubt is good, maybe? ^^;

Not everyone wants kids, it's not a "treasure" to everyone.

Yeah I just realized that now :/ Should've remembered everyone has different views on children.

Every child is a treasure to SOMEONE though. I don't know what adoption is like in Ireland, but here in the states there's a surplus of hopeful parents wanting to adopt babies, and not enough babies up for adoption for all of them. People sit on waiting lists for years to adopt a newborn here. If OP and his girlfriend aren't ready, they should definitely consider giving the gift of parenthood to a couple who really wants it.

#101: There are over 100,000 kids up for adoption in the US, all those people wanting to adopt can adopt one of those kids

I'm talking about newborns, here, not older children. It's easy for newborns to find homes, but it's much more difficult for older children who have lost their parents in one way or another, especially since many of them have emotional problems.

Might come as a shock, but women aren't broodmares for the infertile. Also, giving a child up for adoption can make women depressed and suicidal.

Oh and I suppose no one has ever experienced depression after having an abortion? Get off your high horse. This may come as a shock to you, but I am a woman of child bearing age in a committed relationship and serving in the US Navy as an aviation maintainer and am putting off parenthood until I achieve a bachelor's degree, so I am very much aware of the value of women outside of child bearing. Oh, and I'm a feminist. I said nothing disparaging or devaluing women, so don't imply that I'm a misogynist just because you can't come up with a decent retort to my assertion in favor of adoption. So I think adoption is a good option for people who have an unplanned pregnancy. I know. **** me, right?

Here's an idea, let a woman choose what she wants to do with her pregnancy. My friend wanted to abort because her boyfriend threatened to leave her if she didn't. I told her that he had no say in her reproductive choices and guess what? Her daughter is now 5 because I told her that her choices are her own and no one has a right to tell her what to do. If you value women, you would let her make her own choices

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I tell anyone what to do? *Rereads own comments* Nope. No I didn't. I just said that OP and his girlfriend SHOULD CONSIDER adoption. Last I checked, that wasn't exactly a direct order, and even if it was OP and his girlfriend are free to ignore it. Seems to me like you're just looking to pick a fight. If you have a problem with adoption, then whatever, that's up to you to form your own opinions, but don't act like I'm a misogynist just because I disagree with you.

101 - I wish that were true, but it's NOT. Very hard to impossible to place a special-needs child by adoption.

145, Who said the baby will have special needs? If the baby is healthy, and they find adoptive parents before he/ she is born, then it should be fairly easy to find willing parents for him/ her. Although, like I said, that's if they go with an American adoption program. I don't know what things are like in Ireland. But you're right. Things are much more difficult for special needs children, and it's very sad.

It seems that people are taking issue with the definitive vastness of my original statement, so I'll amend it. "Every healthy newborn in the US is a treasure to someone." There. Happy?

No, most kids in foster care are never put up for adoption because there is still legal ways for the biological parents to get the children back.

169, If the parents choose to put the baby up for adoption, in most American programs they'd choose the adoptive parents beforehand and the baby would go straight to the adoptive parents care. The baby wouldn't go into foster care. I'm talking about prearranged adoption, not babies that get abandoned and put into foster care after the fact. Seriously, does no one know how adoption works these days?

Gracehi, I love how you're telling people to get off their high horse and you're going ape shit on people. Smh

Correcting someone when they're wrong isn't going "ape shit." I haven't made any attacks on anyone's character, unlike someone else here.

Or you know give it up for adoption. Why does no one ever think of adoption? It's better than killing someone because of their mistake and their **** up.

Well, #24, I believe that is up to the parents. Some mothers choose not to go through the labor process and that's okay.

24 - Because not every female wants to go through the hardships of pregnancy for nine months and then the pain of delivery. Not only that but there isn't a high chance that a child could go to a loving home. My mom was in a foster care and was never adopted. My aunt (not by blood) also was got adopted several times and was either beaten, raped, ect. Not many want to risk it. It's a tough choice.

Except abortion is illegal in Ireland unless the pregnancy jeopardizes the mother's life. Better to carry the baby to term and give him/ her up for adoption if they're unwilling than to undergo a dicey illegal procedure performed by an unlicensed hack.

104, I'm not questioning the hardships your family suffered, but I'm wondering if these relatives of yours were older children when they went into the foster / adoption program. From my understanding, it's incredibly easy for a newborn to get adopted here in the states, but things are very hard for older children. In fact, a baby is less likely to get adopted into an abusive family than to be born into one, because prospective parents have to undergo a background check before they can adopt a baby, whereas no one has to do a background check to have a baby on their own.

Mom was put in as a new born. Biological mother had a mental illness. Aunt was put in at one her family couldn't put up with the crying. Depends on the people. Plus not every one is going to be open about abuse or such. Hell some people do not find out until years later because the child is too scared to tell.

I'm very sorry to hear what happened to your mother and your aunt. That's truly tragic. Sounds, like they had some very bad luck, but there are also thousands of people who have been adopted who had very positive experiences. I've known a few myself. It seems to me that fearing that a baby will have bad adoptive parents or a difficult childhood is a bad reason to have an abortion, because they could just as easily have great adoptive parents and a wonderful childhood. It's a major decision to end a life before it begins and deciding to terminate based on something as indefinite as how an unborn baby's life might turn out seems unwise. Your aunt and mother had hard childhoods, but I doubt they'd say they'd rather they were never born, since your mother has you and your aunt has a husband. If I'm wrong than I truly am sorry, and I hope they recover from their traumas and see gore beautiful life can be. Life is hard. Some lives are harder than others. But life is always worth living.

He doesn't have that choice. In Ireland, abortion is not legal.

Actually it is a justified reason not to I think. It's 50/50 both ways and not everyone wants to take that risk. Yes my mom is happy she got to live but her childhood was hell and she regrets every moment of it. Depression had carried all her life cause she thought she was worthless. My aunt wished she was never conceived. Me personally I would never put a child in a foster home. Only way I would give to adoption if I knew the person personally as to ensure the child be properly taken care. Say I am too cautious but I rather not take the chance.

Well that's actually how adoption usually works these days. The birth mother chooses who gets to adopt her baby and she gets to meet them and get to know them beforehand so she can feel good about where her baby is going and be assured that he/ she is going to have a good life.

Everyone ******* thinks of adoption. Also, comparing abortion to killing someone, "pro-life" logic.

The two common forms of adoption is private and foster care. Foster care is easier because they don't have to go through much. Private is more tedious. Yes you can get to know the family and then decide you do not like them after a few months. Then what? Or the private family puts on this fake show acting like they actually care and turns out they are abusers or such. Either way there is still that chance.

I'm sure there are specific individuals out there who like to think abortion adds to thier kill count. I'm sure if someone asked though 'have you killed anyone?' And you responded with yes, then explained how you had an abortion, they would internally roll thier eyes and sigh at your stupidity. It in no way compares. Self awareness is a factor, also being a lump of cells hardly compares to being an actual person.

:p

Maybe they got tested for STDs before they had sex, and are in a monogamous relationship. If that's the case and he believed she was already on birth control since he asked and she said yes, there is no reason for him to use additional birth control.

But you shouldn't let someone have control like that. Some will lie just to keep their partner around. OP should of worn condoms.

If you don't trust someone to not manipulate you into something you didn't consent to, you shouldn't be having sex with them. Actually, if you can't even trust them that much, don't be in a relationship with them. I'd insist on using condoms and the pill if me and my partner hadn't gotten tested yet, but never because I believed them capable of completely ******* me over by forcing me into parenthood. I wouldn't be with them otherwise. Also, a woman that wants to get pregnant without telling her partner could just as easily poke a hole in the condom.

If I didn't trust them enough to be truthful about that I wouldn't sleep with them anyways. I trust my partner with my life.

No reason to use condoms? How about the fact that the pill isn't 100% effective, that being even a little late with it can drastically reduce the effectiveness, that she could have just lied about taking the pill in the first place? If you want to really be safe then one kind of birth control is not enough, even if its common for a lot of couples to pretend it is.

What is even more common is misinformation about birth control, apparently. The 'mini pill' has a time frame of 3 hours, the regular version up to an entire day. That's NOT a drastic drop in a short time frame. The main reason doctors tell you to take it at the exact same time every day is because it estabilshes a routine. Additionally, the effectiveness of the pill is above 99% (with perfect use, 99,7%). It's not 100%, but nothing is. Literally, NOTHING. People recover from getting a vasectomy or tying their tubes, there's always a (very small) chance. So what does using a condom as well as the pill accomplish? Since we're never going to get to 100%, most you could hope for is an additional 0,2%. Do you really think that's likely to be the deciding factor?

And OP did trust his girlfriend and now he is going to be a father. The girlfriend didnt lie was misinformed but had OP used his own form of protection or even made sure she understood what he meant, they wouldn't becoming parents. It doesn't hurt to use extra protection. It's being cautious. Cause like some people have stated even while on the pill they conceived. You just never know.

That small percentage certainly can be a deciding factor. My son managed to happen despite the pill, diaphragm, spermicide, and we used a condom if I was more than an hour late with my pill. I know plenty of other women who had kids even on the pill. 99% effectiveness means 1 out of every 100 will get pregnant, IF you use it correctly, the stupidity is assuming that 1 will never be you. In this case using a condom most certainly would have been better than a 0.2% increase, and plenty of women are not terribly careful about taking their pill.

I really doubt these situations of caution apply to Op, who can count the months he's been in this relationship on one hand.