By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton
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And you didn't have sense enough to use ANYTHING up until now? YDI.
50- umm yea, it would make a difference, because once you get married you're likely TRYING to have kids. I'm not being a religious zealot, I'm just saying that you most likely don't want to have kids with someone you aren't married to.
Hey, that holier-than-thou "no sex before marriage" spiel, you actually think only married couples try for babies? Really? That's the dumbest comment I've read all week. And not to be a dick, but since you brought it up: pretty much nobody cares that you're religious. We just don't care, you're not so special that people want to persecute you, okay?
62- Well, a lot of people use the term birth control just to refer to the oral contraceptives and pills and such. OP could have been using condoms and might be saying that she made the realization that the pill might be better to use than what she was using. Oh and there are plenty of adults who aren't married who have children for many reasons, having kids on purpose isn't strictly for those eternally bonded. Don't go around assuming things, stereotyping and calling people out like that.
While there are great parents out there having kids outside of marriage, it doesn't mean that waiting to have kids until marriage is any less important. The reason why people believe in having kids after marriage is because marriage is a commitment. There are people out there that divorce, obviously, but there are also people out there that actually see marriage as an important milestone. Divorce statistics rates aren't exactly backing me up but that's not to demean marriage. Kids like to see their parents together because it gives them security. Again though, there are amazing parents out there that are not married also.
70- I'm not saying they TRY for babies, I'm just saying that once people are married, then they usually don't use protection. (Unless they don't want kids, but based on data it would seem most do) And I'm not trying to throw my faith out there like some fundie kid, I'm just saying that dominic's comment was rude, and makes him seem like one of those Atheists that feels the need to provoke theists for no reason and cause unnecessary flame wars. Ok? I'm not saying anybody has to do anything, I'm just saying, "if you're gonna have sex with someone you don't love/want to deal with for the rest of your life due to having a kid with them, the least you can do is use protection."
Fair enough, and I agree with your point. Though you can see how reading "sex before marriage" in a comment can make someone get the wrong idea. You don't have to be an atheist, or even non-religious at all, to have objections to what SEEMS like a judgemental comment. Edit: Well okay, your second comment just makes you look like an asshole.
Yeah, marriage kinda does make a difference. I'm all for couples not getting married if that's what floats their boat, but the thing about marriage is the commitment and financial stability. You're more likely to be able to support a kid if you're married. Also, marriage kind of makes it a little bit harder for the baby daddy to just bail out.
Read 50's comment objectively. To me, that last sentence was incredibly rude and had 0 relevance to "don't have sex before marriage". I'm pretty fringe theist, and even that irritated me. His comment would have been perfectly fine without that last line of intolerant bullshit.
83- don't say it's the male's fault for not always being there. My ex got pregnant by me and she left me. Do I want to be apart of my sons life HELL YES I do, but guess what she left me wont talk to me or anything and trust me it kills everyday. Stop being sexist and realize that women also cause problems.
#196 You mean "a part", "apart" means the opposite. At first I thought you were a terrible person. "Do I want to be apart of my sons life HELL YES I do" I was thinking, he seems to really want to be apart from his son's life, how awful a thing to say? Then I realized you meant "a part". Grammar is important.
181- some people don't want to get married because then the government can play a bigger role in your life. And who gives a shit. It's a piece of paper saying you love each other and you'll be faithful. If you love someone and they love you That's all that matters. I'm married but I'm all for those who don't want to for some reason or another. Don't be single minded.
I'm not saying that you can't be committed or rich while not being married. There's plenty of people to prove that's not true. BUT there also is a reason people get married (other than love). I'm just saying that if you have a child ad you are already in a committed relationship that you believe will last forever, you might as well get married. It makes things easier.
52, I don't understand why you're getting thumbed down. It does only take one time to get pregnant. My mother-in-law became pregnant with my husband the very first time she ever had sex. Need less to say, that day she became a single parent. Birth control is key and being picky about the guys you have sex with is also important because birth control can fail.
118- Some people have trouble conceiving, although that doesn't mean I agree that 52 should be thumbed down. I only put "going at it long enough to get pregnant," because not everyone gets preganant on the first try and I wanted to be accurate. Hope that clears it up a little.
It happens a lot. I have a friend who got pregnant at 16 after only having sex twice. She used a condom both times, but the second time it broke. That shows how important it is to even double up on birth control if you can. I take the pill and use condoms in case one fails. Anyways, my friend did tell her parents that she was thinking about having sex and they only told her it was a sin and not to do it. If they had put her on the pill or at least talked with her more about it, they could have postponed becoming grandparents for a while. Abstinence only education is not helpful, parents need to talk to their teens about this stuff.
Pff, you would be shocked if you know how many people don't want children, but are too lazy/stupid to use contraception because they just don't think they'll get pregnant. And then they do and they're all: "How did that happen? FML". I feel so sorry for the children who are created that way. I mean, kids should come in a family when both parents are ready for and desperately want them. Not because their mother is stupid. I hope that OP is willing to sacrifice her next twenty years to give the kid a secure and loving home, otherwise she should better go for the abortion/adoption.
165 I generally agree with your sentiment but many children grow up perfectly fine with just a single parent. Today, children need LOVE but that doesn't have to mean the nuclear family either. I get you weren't downing single parents, but they're some awesome single patents around! And some not so amazing mother/father combinations! Also, it takes two to make a baby. The mother may have been stupid enough to not use birth control, but that doesn't make her a dumb mother. Also, the babies father could have protected himself as well, so it's not just "the stupid mothers" fault.
This is absolutely a YDI. I hope you don't expect anyone to feel sorry for you.
#12 - I absolutely feel sorry for OP. YDI or not, she conceived when she did not want a child. Who knows what STIs and destructive substances OP and the embryo were exposed to. Luckily, there are pills to reset OP's uterus so she can delay childbearing until she is ready and willing