Miscellaneous: Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson... - FML

By anonymous - 19/02/2015 16:06 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 748

You deserved it 3 269

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 662

You deserved it 5 480

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 7 670

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 97 596

By SmellyLeg - 20/11/2017 15:00

Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 325

You deserved it 323

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 810

You deserved it 4 128

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 612

You deserved it 646

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 660

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 139

Whoops

By ER1C - 16/05/2016 12:35 - Canada

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 492

You deserved it 1 215

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 303

Next

Top comments

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 20 February 2015 0:11

Change of plans. Time to teach about situational irony.

WattledParsley 11

Friday 20 February 2015 0:27

Everyone else

Comments

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 20 February 2015 0:11

Change of plans. Time to teach about situational irony.

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Friday 20 February 2015 0:15

ya thats some shit

wvcheesehead 13

Friday 20 February 2015 4:25

Cleanliness is next to dogliness.

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 20 February 2015 4:59

That was a solid joke! Don't hide it by replying to an unrelated comment.

C00L10GAL 4

Friday 20 February 2015 0:13

I read this in a British accent. I mean, who didn't?

WattledParsley 11

Friday 20 February 2015 0:27

Everyone else

1dvs_bstd 41

Friday 20 February 2015 0:37

total bollocks.

StogieXX 11

Friday 20 February 2015 1:48

Who else uses "whilst"?

Mauskau 35

Friday 20 February 2015 1:49

I'm British so I might've done?

NLM22 14

Friday 20 February 2015 6:43

I only did after you posted this.

nofreeusernames 10

Friday 20 February 2015 0:15

Theory lesson turned practical. Very innovative

Classy_Sassy15 18

Friday 20 February 2015 0:16

Just tell them what happened hopefully they'll understand.

_mocha1_ 10

Friday 20 February 2015 0:18

That sounds like a shitty experiance

OgBloodRaven 10

Friday 20 February 2015 0:38

You had the perfect opportunity and you can't even spell the word right... (facepalm) 'Merica

Retaheki 27

Friday 20 February 2015 1:06

#16, why assume #7 is American? I'm American and I can spell. It makes you look bad as a person pointing out someone's nationality as their handicap, even if you don't know their nationality. It's people like you who make America look bad.

buckstop1 37

Friday 20 February 2015 2:32

THUMB IT DOWN TO HELL!

WavRace 14

Friday 20 February 2015 0:21

Assuming you landed on your butt. Make sure you don't turn around OP

Pleonasm 35

Friday 20 February 2015 0:26

It's a dog eat dog turd out there.

devildog562 33

Friday 20 February 2015 0:28

Use yourself as an example of what not to smell like. Really sucks though op .

LittleBlackbird 20

Friday 20 February 2015 0:36

Use it as an advantage! I mean, you made the subject visual like that and every kid will be able to empathize with the situation. You can ask them how they feel when it happens to them and how we can make sure this kind of things don't happen anymore.

panicsdisaster 17

Friday 20 February 2015 0:38

hopefully it was still fresh so you had a soft landing?

Retaheki 27

Friday 20 February 2015 16:53

I think it would be better if it was old, so it'd come off easier.

panicsdisaster 17

Saturday 21 February 2015 2:37

was joking

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The Top

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 297

You deserved it 1 134

The Top

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 136

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 430

You deserved it 2 929

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 951

You deserved it 10 886

Today, I was peeing when I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside, I got a new look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 430

You deserved it 9 539

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 972

You deserved it 4 661

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 2 297