Intimacy: Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed.... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/01/2012 18:09 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 909

You deserved it 10 861

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Top comments

iFizzgig 11

Monday 2 January 2012 0:43

I see you fapping to cartoon porn in the future!

perdix 29

Monday 2 January 2012 0:52

You may be past the point of ever getting laid. . . for free. You'd be surprised what enough cash could do. I'd bet that for a big enough stack of loonies, you can find a blue-haired whore who will scream and moan like Marge Simpson for the 30 seconds you last inside her. Just show her the D'oh!

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Monday 2 January 2012 0:41

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

lebronesque73091 12

Monday 2 January 2012 1:01

What is wrong with you?

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Monday 2 January 2012 1:46

At least you don't get one when Scooby and Shaggy appear dressed as women…

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Monday 2 January 2012 1:47

Thanks op for spoiling rio

XxHoPPoxX 8

Monday 2 January 2012 1:54

Yellow fettish?

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Monday 2 January 2012 2:05

I've seen enough hentai in my day to know where this is going....

silentbutfunny 0

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Monday 2 January 2012 3:58

42 - not many people admit that XD

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Monday 2 January 2012 4:50

Way to pull that off...but Marge is a babe;)

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Monday 2 January 2012 4:52

HENTAI FTW

MrHomerSimpson 11

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Monday 2 January 2012 5:14

I feel special.

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Monday 2 January 2012 8:06

I like what you did there #37. I remember that FML

OctoberRainfall 13

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Monday 2 January 2012 10:39

ahaha that fml was one of my favorites! looool :)

iFizzgig 11

Monday 2 January 2012 0:43

I see you fapping to cartoon porn in the future!

FUUUandyourmom 16

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Monday 2 January 2012 3:15

In the future?

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Monday 2 January 2012 4:59

I love Fizzgig! :3

dayday14_fml 4

Monday 2 January 2012 6:50

Lol true dat

CadillacPimpen 6

Monday 2 January 2012 6:58

I've seen enough hentai to know were this is going...

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Monday 2 January 2012 7:17

Or try the James Deen's Simpson porn. Their yellow and everything!

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Monday 2 January 2012 7:38

99 you jacked that from 42! -.-'

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Monday 2 January 2012 8:23

^ Apparently you haven't seen enough hentai to know where this meme was from.

JaysFanStu 3

Monday 2 January 2012 0:43

You're likely right.

ClassyCommando 13

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Monday 2 January 2012 7:53

Anyone else think the Rio one is MORE pathetic than the Simpsons one?

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Monday 2 January 2012 8:52

Nothing's sexier than 2 computer animated talking birds that are the last of their kind. Come on, the whole reason they are brought together is so they can mate. It's a porn forced to happen...

DontClickOnMe 28

Monday 2 January 2012 0:43

Giggity

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:26

*facepalm*

queenb1621 21

Tuesday 3 January 2012 4:53

I second that *facepalm* ^^

NoobCommenter96 0

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Monday 2 January 2012 0:45

Get your swag on then

alexwarfield333 1

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Monday 2 January 2012 1:03

Wait....what?

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Monday 2 January 2012 1:43

your name says it all..

NoobCommenter96 0

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Monday 2 January 2012 0:45

Get your swag on then

NoobCommenter96 0

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Monday 2 January 2012 0:47

This comment is up twice!! I hate lags

malincake 7

Monday 2 January 2012 0:46

Go to a party and get laid ffs!

A7X_LoVeee 10

Monday 2 January 2012 0:47

That'll be the next step for him.

A7X_LoVeee 10

Monday 2 January 2012 0:52

Fuck. Meant to reply to number 8. -___-

silentbutfunny 0

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Monday 2 January 2012 2:52

A party is not a place to get laid, theres drugs, jailbait, and other bad stuff Better off with a hooker

tsim_fml 0

Monday 2 January 2012 0:46

Better than the people who pay money to watch Homer and Marge do it on their computer...

mrpipp 0

Monday 2 January 2012 2:13

How do u know that it costs money? I'm guessing you've had some past disappointment related to this......?

laden_swallow09 34

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Monday 2 January 2012 4:03

That's bullspit. You can find that for free! …D'oh!

drlove78843 6

Monday 2 January 2012 4:11

67 - only for scientific purposes, can you give a link to the website

iamabamf 17

Monday 2 January 2012 0:46

Romantic...

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Monday 2 January 2012 0:46

PARTY ROCK!!

Nearly

Today, I realized that I am unconditionally, irrevocably, and deeply in love with someone who doesn't love me anymore. I'd give my life for him and he won't even message me back. Life really sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 16

Today, I tried to make a healthy smoothie, but I accidentally added salt instead of sugar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 115

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I was ready to get intimate with my husband 7 months after giving birth to our son. He always made excuses as to why he couldn’t. Our marriage was on the rocks because of this, so when I sat him down to talk he admitted that to save this marriage I need to get a “tummy tuck” and a “breast lift.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 82

Today, I was cockblocked by a machine. I'm in the hospital so I'm attached to the typical machines that monitor vitals, including heart rate. I fell asleep and had a sex dream which made my heart rate go up, which set off the beeping from the machine monitoring my vitals. Bam, I woke up, sex dream over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 127