Use your other hand!

Or just lift your bum a little before you wipe!

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That's so crazy it just may work

Some people are so unable to use both hands that they'd end up punching themselves in the face instead of wiping.

71, that sounds like experience. If it is, I'm sorry. (But I'm still laughing.)

You can also flush the toilet then wipe and flush again.

105- That's even more work than before.

I feel like this was something that happened to Jimmy Fallon when he broke his finger

Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...

Don't worry- we've all said that at some point.

I can honestly say I haven't said it yet.

Bad puns are so inviting to make.

Thank you for not indulging in that crappy pun.

Sounds to me that OP is really short, or has a awkwardly high toilet. Or both.

Or an incredibly long finger.

Shit happens?

why not just use the other hand?

Or just stand up before wiping.

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Here's a solution to that... Soap & water!

28, what is he not going to wash his hands afterwards??

3 & 13: because that would make too much sense.

#28 Huh? I wipe my butt and eat with the same hand. It's my dominant hand, so of course I'm gonna use it to do most things. Have I been doing it wrong all these years? o_O

In some cultures and religions it's taboo to wipe with your right hand as its the one you eat with. Also taboo to eat with your left hand. In western cultures most would say it doesn't matter as long as you wash your hands.

122 the dominant hand does plenty of nasty things all day long, you can't protect it from everything dirty just because you're using it to eat (in case you're only using one hand when eating...)

I think 122 might be so disgusted because he's from a culture that uses a jug of water and their hand to clean directly after going to the toilet, rather than using paper, so thinks people are advocating using their hand directly.

122 bleach your damn hand then.

#122 you are probably doing it wrong.

You should try practicing with your other hand. It will feel awkward at first, but it could come in handy later in life too

When I read this I wasn't thinking about cleaning yourself after using the bathroom... maybe I just have a dirty mind.

Or maybe flush before you wipe?

4 my teachers made me learn how to write with my left hand after my shoulder surgery. And I don't regret learning. It's more helpful than one would think

I'm already left handed :D

Well if you can't keep your hand out of the toilet, maybe try gloves? Cause damn man that's really nasty.

Surely I can't be the only one to think they either have a stupidly small toilet or a really low arse?

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Refer to comment 2...

And you STILL didn't get the joke right.

I can't expect an alien to use proper grammar or avoid overused comments.

There's really no undoing that trauma.

Why not just flush before you wipe??

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Gather round kids. Today we're learning a new word. 'Recycling!'

Gathering and recycling round kids? Good idea!

Nope that's just you