Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML
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By
profoundkisses
| 18
Use your other hand!
By
revan546
| 24
Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...
COMMENTS
By
profoundkisses
| 18
Use your other hand!
Reply
knoxxx
| 22
Or just lift your bum a little before you wipe!
Reply
K410
| 18
Here's a proper solution fucking stand up and do it you lazy people -.-
Reply
dfair1987
| 16
That's so crazy it just may work
Reply
CallMeWindSock
| 24
Some people are so unable to use both hands that they'd end up punching themselves in the face instead of wiping.
Reply
lylotrezor
| 20
71, that sounds like experience. If it is, I'm sorry. (But I'm still laughing.)
Reply
hemz_fml
| 13
You can also flush the toilet then wipe and flush again.
Reply
Shyckor
| 10
105- That's even more work than before.
Reply
fishtities
| 26
I feel like this was something that happened to Jimmy Fallon when he broke his finger
By
revan546
| 24
Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...
Reply
BntyHntrSeattle
| 30
Don't worry- we've all said that at some point.
Reply
ileenefudge
| 29
I can honestly say I haven't said it yet.
Reply
CallMeWindSock
| 24
Bad puns are so inviting to make.
Reply
AurumPotestasEst
| 16
Thank you for not indulging in that crappy pun.
Reply
Girlytoes
| 6
Sounds to me that OP is really short, or has a awkwardly high toilet. Or both.
Reply
iloveclowns
| 9
Or an incredibly long finger.
Reply
zomgbies
| 17
Shit happens?
By
sameboysamesame
| 11
why not just use the other hand?
Reply
ApacheC424
| 18
Or just stand up before wiping.
Reply
Sfaizi24
| 17
Because op probably broke his left finger, and he doesn't want to wipe his shit with his right hand, the hand he uses to eat
Reply
409sPoisonGirl
| 12
Here's a solution to that... Soap & water!
Reply
Caitie_kid
| 8
28, what is he not going to wash his hands afterwards??
Reply
LuckBeNimble
| 19
3 & 13: because that would make too much sense.
Reply
Ameel_fml
| 19
#28 Huh? I wipe my butt and eat with the same hand. It's my dominant hand, so of course I'm gonna use it to do most things.
Have I been doing it wrong all these years? o_O
Have I been doing it wrong all these years? o_O
Reply
djxerxes9000
| 18
In some cultures and religions it's taboo to wipe with your right hand as its the one you eat with. Also taboo to eat with your left hand. In western cultures most would say it doesn't matter as long as you wash your hands.
Reply
Sfaizi24
| 17
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
Poppipuff
| 14
122 the dominant hand does plenty of nasty things all day long, you can't protect it from everything dirty just because you're using it to eat (in case you're only using one hand when eating...)
Reply
JPaccount
| 2
I think 122 might be so disgusted because he's from a culture that uses a jug of water and their hand to clean directly after going to the toilet, rather than using paper, so thinks people are advocating using their hand directly.
Reply
wafflefriez91
| 17
122 bleach your damn hand then.
Reply
michellez
| 5
#122 you are probably doing it wrong.
By
slooby_fml
| 25
You should try practicing with your other hand. It will feel awkward at first, but it could come in handy later in life too
Reply
life_sucks225
| 13
When I read this I wasn't thinking about cleaning yourself after using the bathroom... maybe I just have a dirty mind.
Reply
Zoey_M_fml
| 24
Or maybe flush before you wipe?
Reply
IscoreOnU
| 19
4 my teachers made me learn how to write with my left hand after my shoulder surgery. And I don't regret learning. It's more helpful than one would think
Reply
YUMMYFRENCHFRIES
| 16
I'm already left handed :D
By
MrsDruidess
| 23
Well if you can't keep your hand out of the toilet, maybe try gloves? Cause damn man that's really nasty.
Reply
emilyjgraham
| 34
Surely I can't be the only one to think they either have a stupidly small toilet or a really low arse?
By
Ginger7322
| 10
That's sounds so shitty!
By
asleepingbear
| 8
Sound like a shitty situation
Reply
BntyHntrSeattle
| 30
Refer to comment 2...
Reply
Neyuu
| 18
And you STILL didn't get the joke right.
Reply
BlueFlatts
| 20
I can't expect an alien to use proper grammar or avoid overused comments.
By
thisawkwardchick
| 15
There's really no undoing that trauma.
By
LdyJstc
| 8
Why not just flush before you wipe??
Reply
jkmartinjk
| 16
Lets try to be eco-friendly here. There are better options than flushing twice.
Reply
Queensland
| 27
Gather round kids. Today we're learning a new word. 'Recycling!'
Reply
EarlFug
| 19
Gathering and recycling round kids? Good idea!
By
thrifting
| 18
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
Joshtheparawhore
| 6
Nope that's just you