Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML
Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML
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Top comments
profoundkisses 18
Use your other hand!
revan546 24
Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...
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Comments (146)
WandaX 16
That's disgusting!
graffitied_love 20
I broke my finger and was in the same situation. Use your other hand! It's odd at first, but you get used to it
Mjwnenrjs 17
Stand up to wipe...
khodginssxo 14
Lol like the others said, maybe just switch hands? If you really don't wanna switch just make sure you wash hands like twice as long and sanitize.
brainymes 30
I'm gettin real tired of your shit, toilet.
emuexport 4
Sounds like fun.......
jw90 18
Use the other hand. I don't think it's really that hard to figure out.
Joseph980000 6
Isn't that just shitty :-P
rockydify 22
Move to Australia! Our toilets are not full of water, they are taller that American toilets with just a tiny bit of water at the bottom. Problem solved.
Ameel_fml 19
Lol I'm an Aussie too and was wondering how this is even possible, since the water level in toilets are so low. I didn't realize other countries used more water. :O
ArielTheMermaid 17
I'm American and I don't see how this is an issue. There's not THAT much water in our toilets
rockydify 22
When I first went to America, I thought the toilets were broken and flooded. :D
rockydify 22
It's not that the flush uses more water, it's that the amount of water sitting the bowl is a lot more. Australia has a teeny amount of water compared to America. And our toilets are taller which makes the water to toilet bowl ratio completely different to America. American toilets look flooded to Australians.
0h_Boy 26
Have you tried standing up?