Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML
Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML
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Top comments
profoundkisses 18
Use your other hand!
revan546 24
Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...
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Comments (146)
krazykyra 12
I'm sure that smells fantastic(;
cottoncandymango 17
You have two hands... Use your other hand. (And your brain: common sense)
Neyuu 18
I'm sorry, I find it difficult to use my other brain sometimes.
frip_fml 9
Ops a one armed shit fingered bandit.
sushi314 12
Flush before you wipe?
xTrepidation 14
Why not get in the habit of flushing before you wipe, especially if you're uncomfortable standing or switching hands. Still not fun getting toilet water on your hand but better than shit.
Martinez0285 28
courtesy flush, lol :-)
Drifting 21
Start standing up to wipe....wtf
kemando 22
I mean... You could stand and wipe. Better than shitfingers
ughfmltears 12
For some reason I thought it was gonna say that the finger went straight into your anus idk haha but use your other hand duh
kirbs19 37
God gave you two hands! Use the other one
TylerAnderson98 10
I'm sorry for your unfortunate Shituation. Anyone? Ok.