Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML
Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML
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Top comments
profoundkisses 18
Use your other hand!
revan546 24
Sounds like a shitty situa- no... No.. Im better than this...
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Comments (146)
askingandy 23
And you never thought, "Hey. Maybe standing up would prevent this."
soupermeal 10
Standing up is the way to go
captainbrainless 3
Change hands man FFS!!!
lulu889x 22
I feel understand your misfortune. I work at a nursing homes. I atleast get to wear gloves and get paid to do it. haha
mylifeequalsfml 5
Am I the only one who realized that in order for to happen his water level must be extremey high or his toilet seat is built like an inch above water level?
Louiev82 8
Make sure not to finger ur Girl after
Martinez0285 28
great way to give someone a stink palm :)
venom2421 10
Am I the only one that stands up when I wipe my ass?
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
And... there goes my breakfast...
Ki11erC 18
How long is your finger? Or do you actually sit on water? I can't think of a toilet where this would even be possible without seriously going out your way to each into it.
jdrappi 12
Ummm.... Use your other hand? Genious