Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
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Top comments
playnejayne 0
that is really creepy. fyl.
Lord_Stubby 2
....over Dora the Explorer or was it just on?! Either way, ew.
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Comments (152)
sosmall11 0
wow! I would agree you do need to get out more , either that or you could have at least change the channel ?
Voids 0
I completely agree with you.
chicken_wings 0
loser.
me5 0
And... what's your skin color?
katielouise 0
that's sick
DamnLife89 0
hey its cool. I found the mood while watching a documentary on Nazis. damn sexting. lol
hunterhummell 0
you call your straightore like a petafile
jmateo_95 0
ur the creepiest **** I've ever herd about.... go out and get some ass
mikiimike45 0
...no comment -.-
Erindub 0
Oh wow thats just creepy. At least drag your **** to your bedroom and do that shit. I'm just glad none of yoyr kids walked in on you