Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
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Top comments
playnejayne 0
that is really creepy. fyl.
Lord_Stubby 2
....over Dora the Explorer or was it just on?! Either way, ew.
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Comments (152)
kiss_of_death 0
sooo not good
chomsuon 0
Wow! strange man
perdix 31
Ugh! You like ugly, fat and annoying? You should have held out for Caillou -- his mom is a total MILF **** whose wimpy husband does not satisfy her. It's written all over her face and her throbbing camel toe.
omghehehe 0
Camel toe!! :D gross! :P OP: I understand that when you have kids, you have to get it when you can, but maybe you should follow your instincts.
nas16 0
at least change the channel or go to the bathroom
iheartjustinsane 0
What a ******* pansy.
yaya32492917 0
that is so ******* disgusting u perve. get laid NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
tennantISwho 0
This is very disturbing. I'm a dad and have kids that watch Dora. If...and I say...if, I were to ********** while my kids were asleep, I would definitely make sure to change the channel. You might consider getting help.
prequel_fml 2
what a loser.FYL
ben44_fml 0
WTF man haha
evil_munkey 0
hmmm if its to dora... u may be in trouble... next time try hardcore ****... better u kids walk in to that then to u and dora =p