Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML
Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
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Top comments
playnejayne 0
that is really creepy. fyl.
Lord_Stubby 2
....over Dora the Explorer or was it just on?! Either way, ew.
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Comments (152)
Trooth 13
why did you, an adult (hopefully, have dora the explorer on?!?
bigd2232 0
u little fag keep that stuff 2 urself
rawrrgirl 0
what the **** you shouldn't be in fml OR be masturbating if you have kids. ****** sad ****.
lerosa 0
u need 2socialize!!!! FYL!!!!!!!!
mylifeiscrazi 1
Wow, okay. You really felt the need to share this too. Yes, FYL you need to get out more.
aMEIzing 0
Haha, number 41 said it. Dora is very motivating... but FYL for not getting some ass.
Jeff131424 2
ydi for growing up to be year 40 old virgin
rock_hard 8
he's obviously not a virgin if he has kids. maybe put two and two together until you comment on something.
seeimdee 0
Wow y'all are dumb! The person just did it to do it. not to their kids or to Dora. and they knew it was wrong. just sayin'
eatmybeans 0
Gah!! The **** is wrong wit you!!!!
emilyrosey 0
Dora is a fatass ugly bitch. How you get pleasure from that?