Love: Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting...

By Anonymous - 14/01/2013 08:24 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 912

You deserved it 6 662

Love

Empathy lives

Do your own research

Sounds fishy

By Grrrreat - 04/02/2015 15:16 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 4 902

By wetandhungry - 06/10/2016 13:11 - United States - Houston

Today, I came home to find water dripping from the ceiling in my apartment laundry room/pantry. All of my groceries were ruined. Maintenance's suggestion? "Put a bucket under it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 662

You deserved it 702

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 613

You deserved it 17 253

By Bamamomma01 - 13/03/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 783

You deserved it 87 401

By Anonymous - 24/12/2015 20:52

Today, after 6 years, two raises and a promotion, thanks to student loans I make less disposable income than I did when I first started this job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 730

You deserved it 1 963

By in_side_out - 14/01/2010 11:26 - Australia

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 418

You deserved it 2 864

By Grounded - 29/12/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 186

You deserved it 3 837

By Champs - 25/01/2009 17:52 - Australia

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 146

You deserved it 26 364

By secret - 11/03/2010 05:18 - United States

Today, I found out the electric bill I have been paying was on my old house. I found this out when they shut off the power to my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 832

You deserved it 20 223

Perv

By niquey62307 - 08/12/2009 03:36 - United States

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 250

You deserved it 5 736

By Anon - 07/11/2009 00:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 783

You deserved it 6 075

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 037

You deserved it 8 014

Late warning

By TheGestalt97 - 20/12/2019 05:00

Today, an email appeared in my inbox saying that the final this week that was supposed to be on Saturday has been moved forward to Thursday. It’s Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 18:16 - United States - Glendale

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 055

You deserved it 19 000

By cogu - 03/02/2010 19:34 - France

Today, I realized my girlfriend has more hair on her abdomen than I have on mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 143

You deserved it 6 523

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 23:29 - United States - Ypsilanti

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 793

You deserved it 12 158

By Anonymous - 04/08/2012 06:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 772

You deserved it 2 227

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 23:39 - United States

Today, I was seated, once again, at the "too small" children's table. I'm twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 088

You deserved it 3 219

By poolfail - 06/08/2014 21:14

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 042

You deserved it 6 522

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 07:17 - United States

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 133

You deserved it 119 138

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 845

You deserved it 58 498

By homeless4Christmas - 24/12/2009 05:54 - New Zealand

Today, I flew my wife, myself and three kids to pay a surprise visit to my parents who were going to be alone for Christmas. When we arrived, we found out they decided to go on vacation. We have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 347

You deserved it 27 968

Prison Break

By Anonymous - 25/09/2020 16:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my daughter's best friends birthday party, only to find my ex there, who is now sleeping with the mother, who has a fiancé in prison, who isn't going to be happy when he gets out. Most awkward kids birthday party ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 167

By Quackers - 11/04/2012 15:39 - United States - Denver

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 491

You deserved it 37 208

By lazy pregnant girl - 05/07/2012 19:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 745

You deserved it 10 225

By mortified - 30/10/2010 04:12 - Canada

Today, at work, I was caught picking my nose, on camera, in an elevator. The security guard stopped me on my way out of the building to tell me how funny it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 576

You deserved it 30 887

Spooky

By BadgerSpirit - 27/04/2011 13:35 - United States

Today, I woke my husband up at 2 a.m., screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally said, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four-year-old daughter with her blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 853

You deserved it 43 739

By LadyAlyxandrea - 14/07/2018 19:00

Today, I almost died after getting an epidural in my neck. The medicine paralyzed my entire body, including my diaphragm and lungs. The doctor tried to say it was a panic attack. I had turned blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 038

You deserved it 220

By WartCream - 18/08/2013 00:27 - United States - Olathe

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 595

You deserved it 4 824

By Anonymous - 21/05/2016 04:27 - Australia - Clayton

Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 969

You deserved it 866

By holly - 18/07/2010 14:18 - Germany

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 973

You deserved it 20 112

By danthecomplicate - 29/09/2011 02:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 220

You deserved it 12 453

By dayum - 10/12/2009 21:03 - Mexico

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 898

You deserved it 5 519

By Anonymous - 21/04/2013 17:36 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 131

You deserved it 6 417

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, my 8-year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number key-pad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 863

You deserved it 9 810

By fuck - 14/08/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 784

You deserved it 15 749

Revealed

By PartyPoop - 28/08/2021 02:00

Today, at my gender reveal party, my daughter threw a huge temper tantrum and knocked over tables and chairs screaming, “Fuck this shit!” when the reveal came out pink. She’s five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 1 087

By alopez1994 - 21/04/2011 05:28

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 003

You deserved it 13 769

By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 012

You deserved it 10 518

Yellow

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 11:01

Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 61

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

interesting33 36

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:09

Oh my gosh! Is he okay? Clearly not but find out what is wrong.

ManInTheMachine 19

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:10

Women usually like a man that's more in touch with his emotional side. An emotional wreck, however, is most likely a turn-off.

interesting33 36

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:09

Oh my gosh! Is he okay? Clearly not but find out what is wrong.

billyz77 24

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:42

Sure. He's fine. He always eats his ice cream and cries next to the toilet when he's dieting. That way he doesn't have far to go to purge.

XxDevilxXGt 26

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 17:31

Relieves emotional stress, has a treat, saves energy, and loses weight all at the same time. This man is a genius, leave him alone!

cajekraze 7

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 21:52

The male period is a real thing. It's a hormonal cycle that can cause almost bipolar effects

hockeychick27 5

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 22:12

^seriously?

robocock19 2

Send a private message

Sunday 20 January 2013 19:59

Of course he's not okay he's obviously suffer from Bitchassntitis

a1f0sff 25

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:10

It almost sounds like you broke up with him... but since that isn't the case, ask him what's wrong.

FastidiousPear 6

Send a private message

Tuesday 15 January 2013 4:29

There's only vanilla left... *sniff

ManInTheMachine 19

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:10

Women usually like a man that's more in touch with his emotional side. An emotional wreck, however, is most likely a turn-off.

then000bster 16

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 19:41

Op never said that they were female... It is not always safe to assume.

Werken247 14

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 20:41

@72 It's not always safe to cross the street either, but we do it anyways.

LolPieRofl 11

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 23:43

Oh my god Haylor is over! *Cries and eats ice cream on bathroom floor*.

ChaoticBacon 6

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:11

Have you tried helping him or asking him what's wrong?

buckdharma 36

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 17:49

The 5 second rule just doesn't apply if you drop an ice cream cone in the toilet.

HowieDoIt 21

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:12

He probably just heard nickelback on the radio, I do the same thing!

rivaraven 35

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 17:20

What's wrong with hearing them..?

Catkam623 27

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 17:50

They suck and make you feel bad

GoodLookingGeese 10

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 18:38

I like nickelback, nothing wrong with them.

ColdplaySucks 18

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 18:59

Better than Coldplay; at least their songs are original.

Enslaved 36

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 19:23

Admit it, you've all secretly sung "Rock Star" in your car-- when you think no one is around.

grtfuldeadlovr 27

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 21:55

People who like nickleback should be put down, I decided.

Baybiiie 11

Send a private message

Tuesday 15 January 2013 5:29

#90 that's a matter of opinion. Enough said :)

klovemachine 24

Send a private message

Tuesday 15 January 2013 9:35

No, 90, just no :-P

YinYangDragon 10

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:12

So you're posting it here instead of helping him? Such a terrible Girlfriend....

joshiepo0 18

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 17:39

She probably tried to help him but since this is a reoccurring thing she turned to FML.

Werken247 14

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 20:44

@6 You think all of this is happening in real time? Such a terrible FML'er...

pipinya 8

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 23:25

6 - she can't do both??

rattusrattus 18

Send a private message

Monday 14 January 2013 16:12

Oh god, what is wrong with him? Eating ice cream in the bathroom is gross. Tell him to take it to the front room or something. And, y'know, console him.