Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
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By
DKjazz
| 20
Hold on, let me go Google "Italian Chandelier".
By
lex1459
| 38
I hope you get better soon!
COMMENTS
By
testestestes123
| 4
I've heard of blue balls but blue dick? Well now you have an otter pop
Reply
capper44
| 18
No doubt, but how could a person can break their dick lol unless there was a sharp turn inside of her ;) haha
Reply
EMTchic
| 14
Once that happened to my ex, we were going doggie and he missed (he has always had bad aim) . There was this really loud cracking noise and then he was in so much pain that he couldn't even move
Reply
zakkyzebra
| 11
Don't worry guys, I googled it so I didn't look ignorant asking, "what the fuck is an Italian chandelier?"
Reply
Khariau
| 8
Spoted dick ? :D
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lelo007
| 11
I've heard of men breaking their penises before. I think it happens when they "miss" and their penis hits a surface hard enough to cause an extreme bend, and the blood vessels are busted. Since the penis doesn't have an actual bone in it, it doesn't "break," but from what I've read, it still hurts like a S.O.B.
Reply
lelo007
| 11
Well, I lied.. It is caused by the tissue ripping!
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Inheritance
| 10
Blue dick must be close to blue waffle now
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ConBroChilll
| 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
Show it anyway
Reply
ebonyirony
| 29
86- the age of consent varies.
It's 16 where I live.
And who cares if they have sex?
It's 16 where I live.
And who cares if they have sex?
Reply
tp50141
| 10
86-Do you also realize that in a lot of places having sex before you're married is also considered illegal? If I were you I wouldn't go enforcing the laws about sex.
By
lex1459
| 38
I hope you get better soon!
Reply
Sandsh8rk
| 36
Your dick is just muscle. How is it possible to break it?
Reply
Xythenol
| 6
Maybe it's permanently bent in one direction?
Hell, what do I know? I'm not a dick expert.
Hell, what do I know? I'm not a dick expert.
Reply
SkoomaKi
| 27
#13 - It doesn't break, it is in the form of a bending injury. When the tunica albuginea tears from too much bending (spongy tissue in the penis that fills up with blood during an erection), the blood that is normally confined to this place leaks out into other tissues which is why you get bruising and swelling.
Reply
momogal
| 22
13, penile "fracture" is a very serious injury. It may require surgery to fix. If it isn't fixed, impotence will be the least of the OP's problems.
Reply
NOOBSQUAD
| 0
I read about a guy, it was his first time and the girl he was doing it with thrust hard one way and he thrust hard the other, the injury was so severe he has to use this little pump in his balls (yes he squeezes his nut) to get it erect, all true but i don't remember what it was called that happened.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
Sandsh8rk - I'm not sure where you get your information, and I'm even less sure why anyone would thumb you up for a complete fabrication.
The penis is NOT muscle. At all. It's a series of chambers that fill up with blood.
The penis is NOT muscle. At all. It's a series of chambers that fill up with blood.
Reply
lelo007
| 11
I've always heard it was broken because the veins burst, and that's what caused the bruising. I could be absolutely wrong, I guess I'll go use Google now.
Reply
lelo007
| 11
Well, I learned something new today, so disregard my last comment. #24, you are spot on!
Reply
momolee
| 4
Maybe he will have smurfs babies
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PandaKitteh
| 20
Am I the only one thinking, "BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK! BROKE DICK!"?
Reply
HeartOfLead
| 24
@ 18, You mean like the band one erection? But but unfortunately OP and the band can no longer relate.
Reply
waz433
| 0
You can't fix breaking your dick. The pain can go away but it will never look right again.
By
BunnySlippers
| 6
Ouch! I'm sorry OP, I can't imagine the pain you went through.
Reply
eriksen
| 16
I can imagine it...
Reply
OhDearBetrayal
| 25
12- If I had a dick, I have a feeling that your comment and your picture would have shriveled it up forever out of fear.
Reply
MsCowsiecow
| 6
#21 well, you're an asshole.
Reply
OhDearBetrayal
| 25
45- Excuse me? I was commenting on how with her comment and picture it looks like she hurt some poor guys junk. No need to be rude, geeze.
Reply
SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
My dick hurts, and I don't even have one.
Reply
aron666
| 25
I definitely can imagine how you could imagine...
By
tookie12345
| 7
But the question is does it blend?
Reply
SouthernPride95
| 19
Obviously
Reply
Slender_Man
| 6
You do not know how hard I'm facepalming right now. That is the oldest joke in the book.
By
Voldy_fml
| 16
Your girlfriend has a sense of humor. But Yeah, that's gotta hurt.
Reply
scrappy23
| 4
Thank you captain obvious.
By
DKjazz
| 20
Hold on, let me go Google "Italian Chandelier".
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roseXthorns
| 8
I'd go straight to urban dictionary for the most accurate, and probably most detailed, definition.
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redbluegreen
| 40
Think reverse cowgirl meets crabwalk.
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testestestes123
| 4
Did u find a pic of it? I can't find one
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peachesncreem
| 21
I googled it. The first site that came up was ChristianNymphos.org. It's apparently number 33 in their list of sex positions on the site o.O
Reply
IAmAGinger
| 7
...CHRISTIAN Nymphos? What an oxymoron. Also, what the actual heck.
Reply
CeeCee_fml
| 16
I went straight to the handy dandy urban dictionary.
Reply
thatfrenchguy
| 8
I'm going to pornhub that
Reply
nhuda
| 4
Here is the actual definition from urban lol just in case for some people...
pushes her back and butt completly off the ground using her arm and legs, kind of like crab-walking or like when you do the bridge in gymnastics. The guy does the same thing, but facing down when they make love.
I heard the Italians love it because it burns a lot of calories
pushes her back and butt completly off the ground using her arm and legs, kind of like crab-walking or like when you do the bridge in gymnastics. The guy does the same thing, but facing down when they make love.
I heard the Italians love it because it burns a lot of calories
Reply
faithxoxox
| 1
Wait...if he's "facing down", he's laying on top of her, right? How does he get hurt? I'm confused lol
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
Damn. All I found were pictures of actual Italian chandlers.
Oh well. Fap fap fap fap
Clap off.
Oh well. Fap fap fap fap
Clap off.
Reply
BrianneAlex
| 10
#52 and #66
Christian Nymphos is a sight about MARRIED sex.If a man and woman are married, the sex can be as often and as dirty as desired. It's not against God. :)
Christian Nymphos is a sight about MARRIED sex.If a man and woman are married, the sex can be as often and as dirty as desired. It's not against God. :)
Reply
hahasooo
| 2
Found a picture!.. well sort of..http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/chanposakait.html. the link!
Reply
foncused91
| 7
so what is it? I still don't know lol
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Blackmail111
| 9
130- Now, I'm Atheist and not sure if I'm exactly spot on when I say this, but isn't adultery a sin unless you're planning on conceiving a child? Wasn't there a story in the bible about god striking a man down because he spilled his seed on the floor instead of in his wife?
Reply
chimocho
| 8
143: I'm not sure what you think adultery means, but it's not another word for sex...
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Shrike
| 22
Actually that story was about the guy not impregnating his dead brother's wife. Gotta love the cherry picking and the fuzzy, feel-good moral lessons in that book, right? But yeah, adultery is when a married person cheats on their wife or husband.
Reply
Blackmail111
| 9
146- Ah. That clears it up.
Reply
turkturkington
| 13
No.
Reply
Sandman366
| 6
66: I would +1 your comment, but I'd ruin the 69...which just seems oh so appropriate.
Reply
gingerfly91
| 1
Except sodomy :(
Reply
klx125cross
| 9
Cool
Reply
blue2012
| 7
I was thinking the same thing lol
Reply
gIsaac
| 0
There is indeed such a story
By
Bluefrog9636
| 7
I am speechless.. I didn't even know that was possible..
Reply
Dracoboxer357
| 35
7- It definitely is. My wife was a paramedic when I first met her. Apparently, getting a call for a "broken dick" isn't too uncommon, as their seems to be no limit to what a guy will reckless do with it. All you can do for the twit is give him an ice pack and take him to the hospital, as usually you need surgery to correct that.....or risk never getting an erection again. Your choice. :)
Reply
Bluefrog9636
| 7
Very interesting, thanks!
Reply
Dracoboxer357
| 35
*Face palm*
There seems, not Their seems. :p
Moron moment, my apologies.
And #79, you're welcome. :)
There seems, not Their seems. :p
Moron moment, my apologies.
And #79, you're welcome. :)
Reply
rdrr
| 2
That's why it's called a BONEr. :)
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
Neither did I. Poor OP it must have hurt like hell.
Reply
bryan21122112
| 4
Too bad there isn't any bone in it, just spongy flesh that fills up with blood when excited.
By
Harpy20
| 24
If you're trying something that can be found on urban dictionary, ydi.
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
That doesn't really leave much.
Reply
AClassActx3
| 7
Its not only on urban dictionary.
Reply
slurshies
| 11
going by those rules, you can't even have sex; no matter what position..
Reply
SevenMillionTons
| 4
Or names, those are in it too.
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boating_guy
| 33
I don't think could have anything lol... I mean, I've never looked for something on urban dictionary and not found it
Reply
dupot420
| 9
Damn you look good as hell Happy
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Alex_The_Human
| 2
sex is on urban dictionary, and breathing is on urban dictionary, your logic is flawed.
By
itsharkley
| 8
The pain was phellic
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testestestes123
| 4
I'm sorry but your profile pic super duper creeps me out. Kinda gross-ish
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Crazberry
| 5
Seconded...
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PeteyPablo12308
| 20
^^I'm sorry but your profile name super-duper creeps ME out, and yes, I also find it kinda gross-ish.
*Meant for "Testestestes..."
*Meant for "Testestestes..."
Reply
testestestes123
| 4
It's phallic not phellic, and ......huh??
Reply
testestestes123
| 4
Easy there James Holmes
Reply
slurshies
| 11
33- why is it so creepy? testestes123.... as in testing testing testing 123.... you're a bit over-sensitive I think
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slurshies
| 11
33- why do you find the name testestes123 so creepy? it's (I'm pretty sure) just like testing
testing testing 123 but shorter... I'm afraid the Internet has ruined your mind.. tis a sad day
testing testing 123 but shorter... I'm afraid the Internet has ruined your mind.. tis a sad day
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slurshies
| 11
whoops sorry for the double comment :/
By
Crazberry
| 5
My older sister knew a guy who did that in college. The poor bastard had to wear a sling for weeks AND avoid getting excited.
Reply
DKjazz
| 20
Sling? Hold on, let me go google "dick sling".
Reply
Crazberry
| 5
Why the thumbs down? :/ The girl was riding the guy too hard and she snapped him. It's not out of the realm of possibility. How do you help heal a broken bone? (no pun intended) You don't use it.