Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Cockblocked

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 18 457

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 131

You deserved it 7 406

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 957

You deserved it 8 926

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 221

You deserved it 37 850

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 982

You deserved it 6 205

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 202

You deserved it 26 141

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 477

You deserved it 11 454

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 195

You deserved it 3 103

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 384

You deserved it 6 023

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 918

You deserved it 48 779

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 724

You deserved it 5 675

Acesarcasm 0

Friday 6 March 2009 2:33

that's pessimistic. have a **** in the backyard, be adventurous.

2random 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 11:55

are you attached by the hip ? why didnt just one of you go?

Comments

2random 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 11:55

are you attached by the hip ? why didnt just one of you go?

freddyisepic 2

Wednesday 23 February 2011 7:18

true

Honda288 2

Friday 20 January 2012 5:27

I think sex would be a bit awkward if they were joined at the hip. How's that for a mental picture.

Nyattack 14

Thursday 7 April 2016 11:31

Maybe because they enjoy spending time together ?

Acesarcasm 0

Friday 6 March 2009 2:33

that's pessimistic. have a **** in the backyard, be adventurous.

iseyixes 18

Wednesday 10 October 2012 13:55

Well I'd guess they're too dumb to think of that since this FML exists.

anelard 6

Wednesday 28 November 2012 22:34

Or go to a hotel.

GamerFTW 4

Thursday 10 January 2013 7:55

As soon as I read the FML my first thought was "backyard"!

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Sunday 28 April 2013 15:42

That is a great idea:)

Kain713 14

Tuesday 25 February 2014 13:20

I would have broken a window so fast....

cluch3 22

Thursday 13 November 2014 15:42

hahaha 53 your pic is perfect

emilygrace 0

Friday 6 March 2009 8:07

could've taken some from your parents' room?

xxpinkroczxxx 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 5:55

y would a maried couple need condums its called birthcontrol

kingdomgirl94 29

Monday 24 December 2012 16:55

they're not married? that and not every girl wants the mess of cum everytime they have sex. besides, the pill is only 97% effective. meaning its 3% ineffective. The best way to avoid pregnancy is to use both.

kingdomgirl94 29

Monday 24 December 2012 16:57

who says they live with their parents?

ImAsHiGhAsAkItE 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:27

That happened to me. Hah. It sucks.

lexxi_fml 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 17:23

But yet you brought your lap top with you, good thinking. Maybe you thought "Hmmm, if I lock my door by accident, I could always post a FML..."

jokerman7734 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 15:43

ily wanna go out?

_PurpleTortugas_ 2

Saturday 7 July 2012 8:44

ever heard of a cell phone?? most people have them nowadays...and most of em have internet... .-.

awesomeamandas 37

Saturday 18 February 2017 14:37

ever heard of a cell phone?

Spy_fml 1

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:49

Didn't your mother ever tell you not to slam doors? #9- I don't think that she brought her laptop with her. If this is real she would of written it later.