Animals and Cats: Mr Whiskers

Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 14:00

Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML

agreeclassic 1 068

vote type 1 355

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Similar FMLs

By Zamaria - 02/10/2009 22:23 - France

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

agreeclassic 36 756

vote type 1 3 365

Scaredy cat

By Luke - 15/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML

agreeclassic 414

vote type 1 222

By XxEmoWolfiexX - 24/05/2012 21:18 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

agreeclassic 24 882

vote type 1 2 627

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

agreeclassic 31 224

vote type 1 3 629

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

agreeclassic 10 524

vote type 1 28 656

By lonelygirl - 17/08/2012 23:33 - United States - Circleville

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

agreeclassic 15 074

vote type 1 27 034

Stealth attack

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 16:58 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I was cooking when I got jumped from behind by my friend's cat, who thought my back would make a great lookout perch. Yesterday he tried to sharpen his claws on me. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a tree trunk, but maybe I need glasses. FML

agreeclassic 803

vote type 1 177

Poor little thing

By Yikes - 10/07/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML

agreeclassic 399

vote type 1 71

It's Caturday, respect our feline leaders

By believekimber - 09/07/2022 16:00

Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML

agreeclassic 616

vote type 1 277

By nullpointer - 03/08/2016 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML

agreeclassic 13 826

vote type 1 1 995

ojoRojo 27

Friday 29 May 2020 16:17

I’m not seeing how that’s a bad thing??

Marcella1016 31

Friday 29 May 2020 17:12

Maybe OP doesn’t like the idea of chasing rats or getting stuck in trees. The 9 lives thing would be pretty cool for it, though. Embrace it, OP!

Comments

ojoRojo 27

Friday 29 May 2020 16:17

I’m not seeing how that’s a bad thing??

Marcella1016 31

Friday 29 May 2020 17:12

Maybe OP doesn’t like the idea of chasing rats or getting stuck in trees. The 9 lives thing would be pretty cool for it, though. Embrace it, OP!

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 30 May 2020 3:55

Understandable if he was shining it at your face, but it's on you if you were swatting at it while he was aiming at your arm or something.

Yudith 25

Sunday 31 May 2020 15:19

I hope you got the super-limber-yoga-aficionado part and not the couch-potato-won't-lift-a-finger part. You might want to trim your claws a bit too.

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Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML

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Today, my husband asked me if it was alright if he went on a riverboat trip on the Rhine River without me. The scoliosis and osteoarthritis in my back has gotten so bad with age, I have become seriously disabled and unable to travel. I used to be that we were too poor or too busy with work, but now that we have the money and time, I'm too sick. FML

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Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

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Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

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Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML

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