Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Today, my wife shouted at me for masturbating in the shower, because, "It’s disgusting." She hasn’t touched me sexually in two years FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
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Top comments
Deathhound 27
Why did she say it then?
gunmania0 12
Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching ****, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.
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Comments (180)
pennamay 11
Who would want to screw someone jacking off to ****. Besides you Couldnt make her feel good, so why should she do it. Also you only want it for your satisfaction.
jizzwold 21
Of course he only wants it for his satisfaction. That's the whole point.
farhil 14
What?! I had sex to develop the emotional trust in the relationship! Just kidding... I've never had sex
flootershy 7
My boyfriend and I use **** to get ready, foreplay takes too much time.
HoboSmeller 6
ask her to record herself touching herself so you can ********** to that and she wont get mad.
TipOfTheHat 10
Your body, your needs! Your significant other should want to make love at every chance: because we never know how long we have in this life to share moments of closeness!
flootershy 7
No, she should just be fine with it, masturbation is a safe and natural thing
brandoneyez1 25
What a bad wife. I understand ladies want romance before, but I beg you understand that men are genetically pro creators and were horny because that's the bodies genes saying make more.... Sperm is ready.... So we get horny as fu and ladies... If you don't like us masterbating I HIGHLY SUGGEST you have sex with us more because honey the next step up from masterbating is cheating on your sorry ass..... So I recommend putting out more often. Romance sometimes... Sex always.
JinxosGirl87 0
I feel bad for any woman you're in a relationship with. Be there for sex whenever you want or you'll find someone who will. Selfish.
aus1095 4
I guess I'm lucky my gf loves to have sex 6-8 times a week :) keeps me satisfied
Comet_Candy 23
Are you joking?
cinderella10383 6
Ng You are wrong about the give it up or the next step is cheating, there comes times in every relationship that either side isn't in the mood. My hubby and I wait until the next night and try again no biggie.. I love to watch **** with him as its exciting.. Women knocking it need to actually be in the mood with their S.O and try it and see its really a lot of fun when it's enjoyed by both people. Men always have to warm up the oven before sticking in the turkey it's how us women are built we need some foreplay as do you men... Give to get its never one sided in my house... A lot of women need to chill out and think from a mans perspective and read up about the different sexual desires in women/men a little understanding goes a long way
brandoneyez1 25
I'm not joking. What I mean to say is it's ok to **********.... I'm not suggesting anyone cheat or go the next step... I'm simply saying that masterbating is better than cheating.
flootershy 7
There are 7 days in a week, you might need to lay off a bit
hahaimlsh 0
ur wifes so funny;)
jobsman99 0
Have her join you. Have her give you a ******** and do her foggy style while watching ****. She will get into it.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
****, *******, and doggy style.. Did it occur to you that OP's wife is not a man?
LordWicker 1
Women logic
runner2135 0
I wouldn't want sex with you after seeing you get off to **** either!
juturnaamo 29
Next time you're screwing, film it. Problem solved!
rcbarnes 24
LMFAO! Brilliant!
slinkydee 2
Maybe if u watched **** as a couple rather than an alone thing, there wouldnt be a problem. She would probs get really into it! I can see how not initiating anything and going straight to **** would only make her feel useless, especially if your sex life is already low. You both have needs so why not address them together?