By Steve - 13/06/2012 21:30 - United States - Lake Charles

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 769
You deserved it 17 087

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

start jacking off next 2 her

You must be doing something wrong.


Don't take no for an answer.

You must be doing something wrong.

Never take no for an answer.

IphonFML 6

or he can't compete with her dildo :P

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Only thing he did wrong was ask =P. Just get in there next time OP!!

Isn't that like... the definintion of rape...

I don't think it's rape if it's with his wife

They are married dumbass then it's mistreating her.

Sooo... rape isn't rape if they're married?

Actually, 94, there IS such a thing as marital rape... But i think what we have here is a communication problem

TarieBoo 2

but honest dildos do so much friend actually prefers them over guys sometimes._. guys need to step it up before didlos take over!!

108- A tongue isn't battery operated man.

There's just ways you can touch yourself that your partner wont be able to do.

I hate to tell you all but masturbation does not stop during a relationship. It is not a replacement for sex or something to do during the lack of sexual activity. It is a pleasure into itself. If she wants to wank then it's her prerogative. Maybe she'll want a fuck later. OP is doing nothing wrong.

108- Maybe if some girls werent so worn out they could get off with a guy. Not the guys fault.. If a guy is with a girl that is tight more than likely she will get off if he knows what he is doing. On the other hand if a girls vagina is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway I highly doubt she would get off on anything other than oversized dildo. Get a grip lol literally.

dcg1375 7

Wow. 168 actually thinks a girl getting off has to do with how tight she is. There is so much more to a woman being able to orgasm with her partner. It's not about tightness.

Only in Louisiana...

168 - probably the most ignorant thing I've heard all day. thanks for this laugh.

GaleHawthorne 0

Dildos can do so much these days. They can spin, thrust, come in several colors, etc..

168 um, most women tend to achieve orgasms through clitoral stimulating, not penetration. so it really doesn't matter about tightness. I hope you do some research before having sex, or you're gonna have some unsatisfied partners. also, even if the OP's wife was "loose" she doesn't have trouble getting a man because she's married to one who is obviously happy to have sex with her.

start jacking off next 2 her

Grammar_Nazi_97 0

I don't think I need to point this "1" out

baddawg365 0

But make sure you look at her with a wide eyed unblinking stare. And when you finish scream "I WIN!!!!!!"

Cutieday101 0

Only makes sense to do ;)

CaramelMacchiato 13

23 - like a boss.

unknown_user5566 26

17- If you want to claim the title of "Grammar Nazi", please use correct punctuation.

379_fml 11

Mutual masterbation can lead to multiple rounds if sex after... If watching turns her on enough

unknown_user5566 26

111- Fair enough, grammar does not technically include punctuation. I suppose my line of thinking was that if you are going to claim to be a perfectionist of any sort, you should probably live up to the title.

JRockk 2

I think Grammar Nazi there does a fine job at being a grammar perfectionist so I think he/she does live up to his/her title.

115- By now I hope you've at least caught that he was making fun of the first comment that used "2" instead of the actual word.

ChickInGreenVans 12

Dude.. that is just weird!!

I love your picture.

Well, he technically forgot the period at the end of his sentence.

152 it's actually quite enjoyable to watch your partner. You should try it.

hewro_failure 11

Punctuation is a part of grammar...

CorporalDunn 4

Is it really that hard to write the word 'to', you stupid cockhead?

Good advice, she obviously needs something to spice it up.

what the hell is wrong with you?

Boss wife, you should learn from her: maybe then she'll want your pleasuring :)

OP should sit there with a pen and paper in hand and start taking notes. Also he should not compromise on a concentrated stare and the timely 'hmm' and 'uhun'.

un0m3 14


I'd actually call her behavior spicy.

baddawg365 0


Haha, condom...ents :P

And just a pinch of marshmallows. Thus is the recipe for disaster

The cake is a lie...

It's innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

ChickInGreenVans 12


Just like laundry, it was a small load so she did it by hand.

My girlfriend is so sweet, she does all my laundry for me

baddawg365 0

Mine makes me sammiches

Bitch please! I do laundry, sammiches/sandwiches AND shave his back. Your girlfriends have nothing on me. ... ...Just putting it out there. :|

TarieBoo 2

102- ewwwwwww hairy back

102, firstly ew, secondly, try waxing so you don't have to do it so much. :)

ChickInGreenVans 12

102.. You really just put me off with the hairy back.. Gross

Do you chew his food for him as well(?)

You might need some help with pleasing your wife.

The Internet is your friend, OP :)

I shall be your sex mentor.

baddawg365 0

8- To bad he could not mimic your profile pic... The face not the animals....

"Need a hand?" "Nah, I've got two."

You could have just started rubbing one off next to her.

baddawg365 0

I have a feeling that I've seen something such as this quite recently.... Hmmmmm wonder why that is

baddawg365 0

I have a feeling that I've seen this quite recently.... Hmmmmm wonder why that is

I'm sure she's just joking.

Well if she was, OP more than likely wouldn't have posted this.

blcksocks 19

I doubt if women make jokes when it's time to orgasm.

Maybe she was almost getting there and didn't want to risk it.

Good point!