How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Spicy
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 774
You deserved it 357
Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Ambrily 27

Hmm. What I'm guessing is that she felt your suggestion like an invasion on her privacy, and she may have felt embarrassed to be "caught" in a moment like that. Maybe give her some time to calm down, and try to talk to her without sounding judgemental or like you're mocking her. I know it's not your intention, but she might feel like it is.

20 0

Comments

Ambrily 27

Hmm. What I'm guessing is that she felt your suggestion like an invasion on her privacy, and she may have felt embarrassed to be "caught" in a moment like that. Maybe give her some time to calm down, and try to talk to her without sounding judgemental or like you're mocking her. I know it's not your intention, but she might feel like it is.

20 0
bleachedraven 14

She should have thought of it as incredibly sweet & thoughtful.

4 15
Jon Tessler 14

you offer to "do it properly" was freaking condescending, and showed your wife ZERO respect. if you don't understand "WHY" it was wrong, you better be prepared to live in your brothers spare bedroom, for a very long time.

10 22
Warp1978 15

Next time (if there is a next time) offer to help out instead of doing it properly you might not end up in your brothers spare room 😄😄

14 0
CRC_101 31

She's trying to do it herself, she turned down your offer, and she got explosively angry at your suggestion? Sounds a lot like you're not as good at oral as you think are. Maybe rather than sounding so cocky, you should ask her how you can please her more in that area. Maybe she's angry because you haven't been really listening to what she wants... or you suck in all the wrong ways.

17 5
Kameron Kriese 11

That's a lot to pull from a short story. Good 'Ol "ah yes, the wife is mad so it's the man's fault," eh? Just pointing out that it's really short minded to just assume she got mad because he's bad at pleasing her. The way she handled it was also piss-poor by most couple's standards.

7 1
Erika Pool 3

say it's a wife walking in on the husband trying to give himself oral sex and the wife offers to help him out. Then he explodes with anger and throws her out. He would be an A-hole. just sayin

8 1
DogeToTheMoon 4

She was probably embarrassed as hell and turning it into anger

2 0
Chazzster 28

I can think of 3 possible explanations for wife’s reaction: (1) She was embarrassed. (2) You are not as good at oral sex as you think - Ask her for tips on what feels good for her (Some women need more stimulation to the clit, some cannot stand more than gentle stimulation. Put a finger gently in the ****** - If it’s quite warm then she’s excited, if not then what you are doing isn’t working. If her clit is erect she’s excited, if not it’s not working.) (3) She was in the mood to taste female sexual organs not male… Nothing gets better unless you talk it out with your wife - What went wrong, how can you help her enjoy sex with you more? And finally, It’s your home as much as hers. Only a fool abandons their home just because spouse doesn’t want them there. You have as much right to be there as they do. If you set a pattern of letting your spouse run you off because of a disagreement, then you are a fool.

1 0