Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Today, my wife shouted at me for masturbating in the shower, because, "It’s disgusting." She hasn’t touched me sexually in two years FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
Deathhound 27
Why did she say it then?
gunmania0 12
Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching ****, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (180)
whiteshadow77 5
Typical
docscientist 9
Wow.
KiddNYC1O 20
Bitch thinks she's the only girl in the world...
herpitydurteedur 0
Tryhards.
LilToonchiii 0
this is FML is perfect for that Jackie Chan meme.
Ressamies 6
i really dont get her logic? she doesnt want to have sex, but still she doesnt allow her husband to **********? almost every guy that can **********, masturbates. i dont see what is wrong with **** either.
SwtCherryPie 26
Im pretty sure she doesnt care if he masturbates, everyone does it. I think her problem is that he was jacking off to ****, pissed her off, then wanted sex with her to try to fix it. Im sorry but thats just stupid logic. He should have asked her first if she wanted sex instead of sneaking around watching ****. If dumbass got caught that means its not something she wants him doing in the first place.
NiiTeH 7
Why don't women ********** to ****?
megatherium 4
Many do, actually. It's just not as commonly talked about. :)
MeeperzX3 0
Lmao you should tell her "well that's why pin masturbating, you can leave now" :D
taazer 12
Im sorry OP but i've gotta say it... ROFLLMFAO!! :D
AfroNinja0015 0
Hella stupid wife