By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Spicy
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 064
You deserved it 24 913

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Why did she say it then?

Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching porn, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.

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Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching porn, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.

12-- I agree. Why should a guy or girl for that matter be punished/ frowned upon for looking at something provocative in their own privacy? So long as it's not anything illegal, it's their choice.

Seriously? She is stupid

People find a girlfriend if their wives don't have sex with them. You just watch porn. That's pretty innocent if you ask me.

Why did not you ask her before masturbating, so we can tell if she is stupid or not

#53 That's a really good point! I've always thought that Internet porn also prevents marital rape. When I propose researching this topic to women's groups, they won't even give me a hand. Or even funding.

You can't base her frustrated answer on the type of person she is. She told him that he has her to have sex with, so it sounds like she's willing to give him it if he were to ask. Her saying no just then was because she was pissed at him.

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Well it's not like the wife is going to be in the mood for sex right then after walking in and becoming angry. Not that I agree with the wife either way. I think a little porn can be healthy.

67- I wonder why...

#76 I'm baffled, too! You'd think with such a simple solution to a difficult problem, the women's groups would help me collect information and then massage the data. Afterwards, they'd have me travel from group to group so I could disseminate my findings. I think it's a stroke of genius.

Wow at first I swear I read mom instead of wife and halfway through the FML I freaked out and asked myself what kind of sick country is OP from, thank god I just misread

#53 Hhmm intellectual and beautiful. That is an excellent combination.

106-Turns out this is FML, not eHarmony, nice try though.

115 - yeah I don't know where you get your porn from, but several of these people, at least on the regulated sites, are professional actors / actresses doing it for a living; nobody forced them into it. As it stands, OP was only choking the chicken to meet a biological, physiological need; we are men, and so long as we have functioning testicles there will always be a need to get rid of the baby batter. It baffles me that several women don't understand this, and that when it comes to jerking off to porn due to being trapped in a monogamous, frigid relationship with the other half, that it is only fantasy and much better than actually living out these desires. I think if anything women who put their men in this position should learn to advocate porn for this reason alone, maybe even join their men in the viewing; who knows, it just might bring back the spark in their lives as well

115 what kind of fucked up porn are you watching that could have given you that opinion?

#1 nothing is wrong with watching porn, #2 my husband and I watch it together and #3 I would be majorly offended if I found my husband watching porn alone and masterbating as I never deny him sex but if he asked me after I caught him doing that then I would say no because I'm angry that he didn't come to me, assuming the OP didn't go to his wife

I wrote a research paper in college about the correlation between pornography, and sexual and domestic violence towards women. What I found was that due to the rapid increase in readily available pornography, and the extent to which some of this readily available pornography goes, people's senses are dulled, and violence and sexual assault/abuse is more prevalent, due to this expected sense of sexuality in our culture.

That's ironic that u said "stroke" and the fml is about masturbating lol

Thanks, toowoo, but there's no irony involved. I also used "give me a hand", "massage" and "disseminate" for your entertainment. Glad you enjoyed it :)

70- speak for yourself. If I ever walk in on my bf masturbating I'd either offer to help or ask to watch while I undressed. :) it's fun.

172 - Those same criminals would still have committed their crimes regardless of whether they had porn or not; people who act on such impulses are usually of the very disturbed persuasion. I mean just look at Ed Gein, he committed his atrocities well before the existence of the Internet or any other mass produced x-rated publication for that matter.

He should've asked if she could 'lend a hand'.

148 - Well said.

I'm shocked that no one noticed what Perdix is doing...

Yes it is not a big deal! I would rather know that my man is getting it on with himself if I am not around than going somewhere else for it! Sadly I did have a guy go find a girlfriend to have sex with when I was unable to transfer back to our town when my job changed. I tried my best to be with him and satisfied his needs but I guess I wasn't what he wanted. If I was the wife I would watch it with him and maybe get some pointers or just give him more sex!!

I could also claim that domestic abuse against men has become much more common. in 1940, domestic abuse against men was virtually unheard of. Now, men make up 40% of domestic abuse victims, and that is just the reported cases. If anything, it's more accurate to say that domestic abuse has not become more common, we've just started paying more attention to it. Also, there is a difference between causation and causality. Just because one thing happens, followed by another, it doesn't mean that the first caused the second. For instance, there are statistically fewer pirates now than there were in 1800, but there is more global warming. Does that mean that a lack of pirates is causing global warming?

Correlation is not causation dumb ass.

Why did she say it then?

You should respect your wife and not look at that shit! U disgust me!

8- so having a sexual urge and getting rid of it by yourself is disgusting? For all we know she's doing the same. He didn't even disrespect her. She didn't give the sex, he fixed the problem with his hands...literally.

You can jack off without looking at another female/ male's body. If you're with someone, you need to respect them and not look at other people's bodies unless both partners agree it's ok.

Porn isn't a big deal. It's not like he was planning on finding the porn star & fucking her. Now, if he was wacking it to someone he knows then that's wrong. I can't get off on my own with porn. Why? Because it's boring without it. You can be completely satisfied sexually in a relationship and still masturbate. It's normal. Op did nothing wrong.

Wow. 40 has the argument yet. And 20, not to be rude but, it kinda obvious that you're at least a little prude. Probably a virgin too. Don't you think if you are uncomfortable with sex, then you shouldn't comment other peoples medium of receiving pleasure?

Oh and rainbowheadache, hit me up on xbox live. You seem like you would be a pretty awesome chick to play with

Jesus Christ franky. You're doing it wrong.

Y'all are so so so wrong! I'm not a prude, I'm not a virgin. I've been in a relationship for 5 years and have done many things that y'all don't even want me to go into detail about! But porn is just one of those things. If the other partner doesn't like it, then they need to respect the partner and not look at it!! Why does everyone in this fuckin world view porn as ok ? Do y'all not think watching some nasty skank get fucked is nasty?

I happen to enjoy porn with my husband but I would be offended if I were OP's wife as it seems that she was unaware but porn is not horrible if both sides like it together

So he's supposed to go fuck another girl instead of masturbating? I don't think you understand the basic male need of all animals is to reproduce. Our sperm plant is consistently producing more sperm. Thus gives us the desire to ejaculate. It's a natural thing that nature designed us with to ensure continuation of our species and instead of cheating on his wife, op opted to instead masturbate. I think you and ops wife need to get your heads out of your asses and stop thinking bout only yourselves for once.

I understand men and women get the urge and maybe the other person doesn't want to do anything physical at the time..... But that doesn't mean you have to go look at porn. Just close your pretty lil eyes and imagine your partner or just jack off with nothing visual.

Yo vulpine_vixen... men already have taints.

I thought you can understand the male sex drive? We are visuals, we need to see something in order to get aroused. If you say respect one's opinion, then you respect the others. Don't you think your boyfriend has masturbated quite a few times in those 5 years? I'm damn sure he has.

173- no visual? That's like soda without the carbonation. Porn is the fizz.

what is so wrong with a guy looking?? not like he is touching the girls!!! u won't have sex so he is doing thy, it's better than him going and cheating on u! get over ur self... don't put ur guy on such a short leash!!!!!!!!

I'm sure she would have had sex with you at another time, but because of what you were doing, she was angry and not in the mood.

I bet your wife's cheating on you, from what this fml says it sure sounds like it.

ok... so why the f*** is she screaming then

She's probably upset that he went to the porno instead of taking the time to seduce her.

Just keep masturbating

In fairness to her, he probably shouldn't do it while she's home that is kind of disrespectful...

What's the big deal here? He's a grown ass man

168- her place is in the kitchen, he'd have no time to masterbait

Because she was pissed at him, you should know better to ask a girl to have sex when she is angry at you. You guys are fucking stupid.

Useless wife? JK :)

I don't know... Can she make a sandwhich?

you're not kidding.

Can you spell a sandwich?

Hahaha... Apparently not.

Didn't know people kept dictionaries in the kitchen..

At least she didn't catch you masturbating to some child show. #couldbeworse

This isnt twitter

Delete this perverted comment

#Hashtagsarefortwitteryoufuckingidiot

Not everyone is a total creep like you, ya know?

Wow I would get modded again. . .wtf

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She was probably going to go grocery shopping

Either that or laundry.

You sexist little cockroaches. Why don't MEN go make me a sandwich. I can't even cook! My fiancé cooks. But I barely go into the kitchen, or do the laundry, or the grocery store. Stop saying that women are only for sex and cooking and cleaning. Can you bleed for 7 days and live? I doubt any of you have ever had any. And only sexist people never have loved someone.

Can I bleed for 7 days and live? Yes I can, cause I'm a girl. It's called a joke. Calm yourself and get back in the kitchen.

25 - I don't agree with their sexist comments but they are just joking, relax a bit.

Can I bleed for 7 days and live? Sure I can and have, having your appendix removed... Good times... But no, #25 (I believe), it is YOU who needs to get off your high-horse. People make jokes that favor one gender, who cares? Did it cause you physical harm? No. Did it cause you emotional harm? You may say yes, but the answer is no. It's people like you who are making life hard for everyone, with your ovaryaction to something so small, when you yourself sound like a femiNazi.

25- looks like you're already bleeding...

25- Take a chill pill. Its just a joke. And as for your comment about bleeding for 7 days and living, try being a soldier in Afghanistan. Besides its not actual blood that comes out during a period its menstrul fluids coming from eggs that are unused. Or so my doctor friend tells me.

Exactly! You go girl

Sorry for double post but I left something out. 25- I'm happily married and my wife is about to give birth to my son. And I have loved her for years. I will admit to being sexist at times, but just because somone is a sexist (or being sexist) doesn't mean they have never loved or been loved.

25 - it's called a joke. You should google it once you get off your period.

Woman are only good for 4 things: cooking , cleaning, vaginas, and their sisters vagina

i get that its a joke but it's still not cool.

I know where u got that from but still, not cool.

Not very witty; nor is telling her to get back in the kitchen because she voiced an opinion.

35 - it's blood. Uterine lining is engorged with blood. There are clots involved. If you ever had a period, you wouldn't question that. It's blood.

25- Chill your balls, I'm a girl and i dont give a f*ck what other guys "sexist jokes" are. If your seriously gonna take it personally then cry a river, build a bridge, and get the hell over it... Now go make me a sandwich, I'll pay you in Tampons, you really need them..

92 - If you read the last part of my comment I was informed by my friend who was a doctor, I may have misheard what he said or he may have misspoke. Either way I have been misinformed. And to be honest I would be weirded out if I had my period seeing as I am not properly equiped for it.

97 - You're a ladette.

Calm the fuck down I agree but I think it's kind of obvious that they are JOKING. Sarcasm you bitch

shut up 25 they're obvious jokes they can be quite funny at times. some people have senses of humor believe it or not so get over it

25 I understand where you're coming from, but going all out like that never solves anything. Anger only leads to more anger.

P.s. Props on your boy being able to cook. Nice catch ;)

calm down it's the Internet. were everyone talk big, or just trolls the shit out of people. that reaction is probably only gonna feed them

Franky the more I read your comments the more I hate you.

Hehehe. You can NEVER win with women.

True that my brother

Play basketball against them. Now it's easy,

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You sir are a winner

She's prob pissed at u bc u didn't ask if she wanted to join ..

229 How did he not ask her? It clearly says he asked her if she wanted to have sex, and she said no

Wow uh maybe you should tell her to get back in the kitchen while you wank it since she's not interested in joining you... Heh I kid. I kid...

I would have thumbed this up, but then you said you were joking:(

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Why the heck not?

maybe cause his wife isn't giving him any! He's a man, he needs to release sexual tention even women need to. She also contradicted herself completely and you expect him to just sit there and "fix a light bulb" or something! your the dick not him!

Did you completely miss the point of this FML? He is looking at porn because his wife won't satisfy his needs!

It's not physically possible for you to have a dick as your head. Just saying.

you are an idiot...just saying!

You sir are completely right. He should just go find a prostitute instead. -.-

Because the male gender has something called a prostate and wacking off is basically a mantainance check for the prostate. Since he isn't getting any, what's a guy supposed to do? Cheat on his wife? .-.