Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Today, my wife shouted at me for masturbating in the shower, because, "It’s disgusting." She hasn’t touched me sexually in two years FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
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Top comments
Deathhound 27
Why did she say it then?
gunmania0 12
Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching ****, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.
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Comments (180)
xxskatergirl7xx 0
I dont blame her.... I woulda said thar cause id be pissed u were watching ****!
brianjman14 22
Why? It's just ****. At least he wasn't cheating on her.If his wife won't give him any, then he needs to find some way to get rid of the tension.
diablo83 4
Women are retards
khanadian 8
Bitches be crazy!
skyeyez9 24
People who make sexist 'jokes' secretly mean it, while passing it off as a joke. Being a sexist douche is generally frowned upon in civilized countries. In islamic countries it is the norm.
ItsApril 0
I seldomly make sexist jokes. I damn sure don't mean any of them though. Just an FYI for you.
Dcm210 19
I have a gf but I still look at ****. but we don't live together so yea.
btbamfan75 0
I think you deserve it. You should have asked her first, when you get shot down then its time for some carpel tunnel lovin'.
dorkyprincess 1
Haha your wife is smart
McZachEnstein 2
Hahaha everyone on here is an 11teen year old and has never grown up and had a husband or wife! Haha I see why all females hate on him and some dudes talk about their girlfriends giving them sex 6-8 times a week! Hahaha get married and see where life takes ya! Haha
ItsApril 0
I'm married and we still have as much fun as we did when were teenagers, as far as our personal life goes.
soccerchicx9x 5
Um why would the wife want to have sex with him after she caught him doing that...I'd imagine she does want to, just not now. It's not her fault.
theghost1309 11
That's when you tell her that's exactly why you **********.