Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Today, my wife shouted at me for masturbating in the shower, because, "It’s disgusting." She hasn’t touched me sexually in two years FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
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Top comments
Deathhound 27
Why did she say it then?
gunmania0 12
Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching ****, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.
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Comments (180)
youtubetre_fml 14
She doesn't understand you ,you don't understand her .Nice couple
jfarrow9703 11
Dumb bitches are always stupid!
NaoPudding 8
Well, of course she said no in that moment. She was obviously upset with you.
franky114 7
Quick question about your name. I think it's beautiful, but I've been curious. Do people make fun of your name at all? I wanna name my lil girl that one day, but I don't want her to be made fun of for it.
Nyolia 11
Well after screaming and being upset, it's common knowledge somone wouldn't be in the mood.
Dreadful87 4
Dear OP, I think she said no because she was upset that she caught you doing ****. Would a woman who was upset have sex with the person who caused her distress? No duh. It's equivalent to her crushing your xbox/PS3 with all your precious save files in it. You would be livid right? And then she asked you for sex. Would you say yes? At that exact moment when you're mourning the death of your hard-earned game levels. No right? Duh.
swampdog 0
I had a wife like that. My recommendation is to do what I did, ditch the bitch. That was the best move I ever made.
JadeWalker 14
so you ditched the real thing for nasty bitchess that you'll never get..... yea you sound real intelligent. score 1 for your now ex and score 0 for you hahahaha
alliexkat0413 5
My guess is you're STILL single and jacking off to ficticious women. Am I somewhere in the ballpark?
isb2112 2
Hey
isb2112 2
Ur gorgeous
deafredhead 4
You idiot that what men do watch **** all the time bc they r men! Woman get over it! There no men that does not watch ****! Get over and get over there give ur husband a pleasure!!!
megatherium 4
My husband doesn't like ****, and I do. Have I shattered your narrow perception of reality yet? ;) Gender is not as clear-cut a concept as most people seem to think. There's nothing that "all men" do, and nothing that "all women" do. No, not even the physiological aspects, since everyone's body is different. We are all individuals, not stereotypes.
JadeWalker 14
My bf doesn't like **** either :) he prefers the real thing ;) sucks for you if thats how every guy you been with has been.
WutzButz 3
Yes, vulpine_vixen; and if she doesn't want to have sex and he is horny, then he is going to have to take care of it, hence the masturbating, often with ****. That's where the consideration of other people's feelings comes back in again. I hope you didn't mean that he should respect her wish to not have sex but still sit there and not **********?