Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Today, my wife shouted at me for masturbating in the shower, because, "It’s disgusting." She hasn’t touched me sexually in two years FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
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Top comments
Deathhound 27
Why did she say it then?
gunmania0 12
Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching ****, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.
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Comments (180)
bizarre_ftw 21
"well there's your answer, now get out"
skyeyez9 24
She said no because she was mad at him. For all we know they may have sex regularly, but op was.caught looking at some freak fetish type of ****.
PhillyHilly 10
women have a weird mentality
KiddNYC1O 20
Let's not generalize.
talorylynn 4
Of course she didn't want to have sex then! You were supposed to ask BEFORE.
DragonGirl1031 11
Dude, she just caught you masturbating to ****. Of course she's going to say no if she disapproves of it. Her statement is for future use. If she says no, then tell her that at least you're asking her than doing what you just did.
decidedlyvague 11
You shoulda just continued right then and there saying: "and lo behold the reason I **********! If we'd have sex more frequently, this wouldn't be a problem!" after she leaves you gotta make sure you hunt her down and finish on her.
jeffw1123 4
next time dont offer sex offer her to help you finish or ask her if she wants to join you before hand
ohaimark 0
I've known several people who watch **** on occasion with no problem, and frankly I don't see a problem with it. However, I've known the other side of the coin too, where the husband gets so absorbed in jacking off all the time that the wife goes unfulfilled, even when the woman has a high libido and has been readily available from the get-go. Then it causes marital problems. Women have sexual needs too.
Malicine 6
Times like those you take her by force
iMagzzzy 0
She better make one hell of a sandwich.