By notsohandy - 03/01/2014 22:08 - Denmark - Hadsten

Spicy
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 69 870
You deserved it 8 114

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Just start masturbating beside her next time

colvindj 22

She's a independent woman who don't need no man to get her freak on.

Comments

Just start masturbating beside her next time

ew thats disgusting

euphoricness 28

Beat to what? Your meat?

#38 ... The FML commenter is truly a fascinating species. Think about it in a non-masturbatory way.

It's called a "joke."

I thought jokes were meant to be funny... Stupid me

And I thought the other guy was the one who didn't detect a joke. xD

TheKittiesTitays 8

Lame

oneofthosegirls_fml 11

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happyfingers 15

Not a turn on for girls...? Apparently I am not female then. That's unfortunate. Seems I've been mistaken all my life! Hope my boyfriend doesn't find out... Lemme rephrase for you. It's not a turn on for YOU. :P

dlowry004 14

# 76 Since you would know all about what turns guys and girls on in your 15 years of existence...

idk 84 sex is starting to occur in younger and younger age groups...

challan 19

Poor misinformed number #76. If you'd like the low down on why, feel free to pm me. I would be happy to play Dr. Ruth.

Lmao and see where it leads

You are 15. whatever sex advice you have its invalid

MsMourningStar 22

OP this is great advice. It always work for my boyfriend and I. Or next time don't ask of she needs help. Just kiss her. That way you're not exactly pushing yourself in her but she knows you're willing to help her out. And #76 you're way too young to actually know if that turns you on yet. Even if your sexually active, which I hope to God you're not, you're just developing a taste for what you like. It'll take several years and change as time goes by. You might not find it hot now but later you may find yourself sneaking into the bathroom and watching your boyfriend while he's in the shower. Give it time.

crazytwinsmom 25

She may have been doing it and talking in her sleep, been there done that.

I dated a guy once that went in the other part of his basement room, that had no door but no lights either, to jerk off cause I was out of commission for the week and had just gotten an oral piercing. it was nothing short of awkward and slightly disturbing. I guess he thought I wouldn't realize what he was doing...less than 10 feet away.

114, I agree that a 15 year old probably isn't the best person to go to for sex advice but I wouldn't call it "way to young to know what turns you on". Even if people aren't sexually active, they have a general idea of what kind of things turn them on and what kind of things turn them off even if it will change over time. Plus the legal age is 16 so, while 15 is a young age to be sexually active, I wouldn't say it's ridiculously young.

MsMourningStar 22

Idk #121 maybe I'm a little more old fashioned. I just think that even sixteen, whether it's legal or not, is too young. And this is coming from someone who lost her virginity at the age of 16.

Each to their own I guess, I understand where you're coming from. I think it depends on the individual though- it's true that lots of 16 year olds are not mature enough to be having sex, but there are also some who are. :)

incoherentrmblr 21

See if you can beat her to climax...

MsMourningStar 22

As with everything :)

Well, I thought partners were meant to help with pleasure. I've been wrong all this time it seems.

JMichael 25

So much of the world has been a lie!!

I'm w you if my man did that to me I'd slap him.

56, I'm confused with your response. Based off the fact it has nothing to do with the thread. Would you not want your man to help you?

DavidKnows 11

#56 So..you say he should slap her for masturbating next to HIM??? You recommend physical abuse of women?

I feel like if he didn't respond that way, she'll find another way to be mad at him anyway. Like... "You see me masturbating but don't offer to lend a hand?"

Men! We don't know what we said!

She was most likely embarrassed, most women do it at night to fall asleep. When her man woke up and offered help, she probably was shocked, frazzled, and just wanted to sleep. I promise you OP, she won't stay "mad" at you long. If she wanted a fun time she would have done the normal thing and woke up at an unreasonable time, but I seems more logical she just was trying to pass out easily. Ah, women...

yoursucklives 36

i'm a woman myself, but i never mastubated to fall asleep, and none of my female friend ever told my something similar, so i don't thing "most women" do it. but you could be right, maybe she wanted to orgasm and then fall asleep, and wasn't in the mood for sex. why she would call him a pervert for offering a hand is still beyond me, though.

Nice family guy reference, #94

she was obviously just embarrassed that she had been caught!!

#101, I'm a woman as well. I do it to pass out, and most friends don't talk about such things with each other. But when you're young and you want to find out if it's even normal to touch yourself, you stumble on to forums and internet articles that do in fact support what I just stated. (I am no longer a confused teen, and am now married and understand my body a lot more. But I research everything, which is why I stated the information above.) Just because you don't, and you friends never brought it up, doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, by many different women. In addition I think she was just embarrassed, and attacked him without thinking. Just a reflex. Just my two cents.

Last reply from me, when I said most women do it. I don't mean that they do it every night. I should have worded it, "That most women have done it, to help get to sleep". I do apologize for the confusion, I can see how that went awry.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

#105- Your ex that you dated for 3 years didn't approve of you masturbating? Wtf?

vividpictures 17

#103 That's what I was guessing was the answer for all of this.

imkool136 22

I have get myself sometimes cause my own girl says she's "too tired" then ends up not doing anything at all, even the morning after..... I just need to vent:/

saraitkddh 47

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Das_is_gud 11

I think what #3 was trying to say was that she's already turning down sex and they are not even married yet.

I think she is trying to say that he is already being rejected for sex, so when they do get married, he will never have sex. Or she is being judgmental and saying, "how dare you sinners have sex before marriage!"

Das_is_gud 11

The world may never know

saraitkddh 47

wow people you misunderstood me! I meant what #25 said

colvindj 22

She's a independent woman who don't need no man to get her freak on.

I have no words to describe how epic this comment is. So I'm just going to clap it out. *claps*

littlemissdqgirl 8

*snap* *snap* *snap*

DKjazz 20

Don't anybody write "*fap* *fap* *fap*".

Dom_Olivares 12

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Or she could've used the big stick that's up her ass.

That's a hilarious! Obviously she has no sense of humor!!

I'm pretty sure that lack of sense of humor isn't the problem here.

Something tells me you're not old enough for this website

DanShowsNoMercy 13

Maybe she needed a mouth?

Pfft, you're silly. She obviously has one if she was able to call him a pervert.

MyUsernameKatie 31

I thought of his comment in a different way...

#43 i think you missed the sarcasm...

Next time just poke her.

StompinOnCrayons 15

Say "If you won't let me help atleast take my electrical toothbrush !" See, chivalry isn't dead.

mangoboy1 19

Chivalry is dying because of feminism, which seems like an ideology that op's girlfriend would identify with.

Some girls just gotta concentrate.