Miscellaneous: Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send... - FML

By lachaisse - United States - Vinton

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63074

You deserved it

4111

Tweet

Share

Serious times

Triage

You tried

By Soontobeex - United States

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55455

You deserved it

4647

Tweet

Share

By googly191 - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34586

You deserved it

2464

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Not a girl, not yet a woman

Today, I got a very accusatory phone call from my daughter's teacher. According to my daughter, I absolutely refuse to let her eat in the morning. In reality, I told her it’s her responsibility to get herself up and get breakfast on her own before we leave. My daughter is 17 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2234

You deserved it

200

Tweet

Share

By SteveBassist

Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3858

You deserved it

284

Tweet

Share

By Meghan Elise

Today, I found that there were charges of almost 2,000 dollars on my bank account. Some asshole in Florida stole my money. I have bills and that was money I saved to buy myself a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2297

You deserved it

147

Tweet

Share

By meesmees - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43720

You deserved it

6781

Tweet

Share

By Jack Shart Jr. - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19984

You deserved it

17968

Tweet

Share

By feckingnasty

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4562

You deserved it

457

Tweet

Share

By stupidpolicia - Brazil

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43716

You deserved it

3316

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32025

You deserved it

5463

Tweet

Share

By unlucky - United Kingdom

Today, I failed my driving test. The examiner insisted I that didn't check a junction before pulling out. I did, he just didn't notice because he was too busy staring at my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36112

You deserved it

5225

Tweet

Share

By QuicksilverMaximoff - United Kingdom

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46801

You deserved it

3099

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33911

You deserved it

2751

Tweet

Share

By eyerollplease

Today, after recently celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary, my husband and I watched my mom and his dad say "I Do". I am now married to my step-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7606

You deserved it

485

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5801

You deserved it

430

Tweet

Share

By lindsey822 - 8/4/2021 10:59

Is it though?

Today, my brother and his wife have seriously decided to name their son “Bubba.” I don’t know how to politely explain to them that Bubba is a dog’s name, not a human’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks

709

You deserved it

221

Tweet

Share

By bitch - 27/8/2020 08:02 - United Kingdom - London

Tracked

Today, I noticed that on the calendar in my boyfriend’s apartment, for every week of the months when I have my period are coloured in red and over them, in block capitals, he has written 'BEWARE'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1092

You deserved it

705

Tweet

Share

By IloveMaroon5 - United States

Today, I found out that if your boss deletes you off Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33795

You deserved it

4385

Tweet

Share

By Crystal Crackles

Today, I used my rear windsheild wiper and it shattered a large hole in the glass where the rotating part is. No one can repair the window until tomorrow afternoon. It's snowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2443

You deserved it

170

Tweet

Share

By dusk - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36953

You deserved it

4224

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/9/2020 02:02

Empathy hurts

Today, my brother-in-law's wife said she won the jackpot by marrying into our family. What she doesn't know is that they make fun of her family behind her back, and her husband has no drive or focus in life. Now I get to watch her discover how crazy they really are. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1117

You deserved it

190

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50733

You deserved it

7885

Tweet

Share

By Lord_Nick - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21800

You deserved it

1690

Tweet

Share

By unlucky - United States

Trial and mainly error

Today, I have done enough trials to confirm that I puke after each time I have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46506

You deserved it

4509

Tweet

Share

By ManInPain - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42039

You deserved it

4895

Tweet

Share

By baddad - United States

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56413

You deserved it

7756

Tweet

Share

By WorkerBee

Today, I found out I didn't get accepted into a program I was nominated to attend at work that all other applicants with less experience than myself did. I found out when they asked if I had gotten the acceptance email. They didn't even bother telling me I was rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1962

You deserved it

154

Tweet

Share

By m33p - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34778

You deserved it

8315

Tweet

Share

By The Cat Tickler

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1778

You deserved it

1351

Tweet

Share

By seriously wtf - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27428

You deserved it

4080

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4046

You deserved it

459

Tweet

Share

By BerkeleyBiker - United States

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36284

You deserved it

3711

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Breaking Badly

Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1392

You deserved it

102

Tweet

Share

By

Glittery letters

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2105

You deserved it

415

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - France - Saint-brieuc

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser, "A little off the sides," they hear, "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34983

You deserved it

3594

Tweet

Share

By xBubbles38 - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43842

You deserved it

6250

Tweet

Share

By runandmope - United States

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29759

You deserved it

8915

Tweet

Share

By yaa

Everyone's an expert

Today, my sister's husband, who's never even been to college let alone medical school, told me that my cancer is not hereditary, despite a deep family history. He instead swears it's due to my "poor lifestyle and eating habits." Mind you, he's a 300 lbs, fall-down drunk with multiple DUIs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1961

You deserved it

148

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I realised yesterday was my 30th birthday. What made it worse is that my parents forgot, along with my other relatives and friends. No cards, no texts, no calls, no Facebook messages. Nothing. Happy 30th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4548

You deserved it

619

Tweet

Share

By slut - Canada

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14329

You deserved it

59138

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Bigfabthetruth52 | 22

#5489028 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:10

Uhh, what a dick.

By revolution4ever | 14

#5489049 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:15

And parents wonder their kids have no respect for them...

COMMENTS

By Original_Outcast | 23

#5489027 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:10

Your dad is a faggot, anyways did you tell your mom the truth?

Reply

courtney680 | 17

#5489071 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:23

What a prick. Hopefully they did. I'd be pissed

By Bigfabthetruth52 | 22

#5489028 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:10

Uhh, what a dick.

Reply

ulquiorra102 | 10

#5489112 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:45

I was gonna try to come up with a witty comment, but this...I'm pretty sure this summarizes what everyone's thinking xD

Reply

garrett1999o3 | 16

#5489121 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:51

#2 How is that top comment worthy?

Reply

garrett1999o3 | 16

#5489131 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:57

I will now sit wonder through my days "How the F**k did that guy get top comment?"

Reply

HiIAmKevin | 8

#5489196 - Sunday 12 May 2013 20:50

Freakin' genius.

Reply

xALEXx_fml | 15

#5489470 - Monday 13 May 2013 1:54

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

aneurophobia | 5

#5489487 - Monday 13 May 2013 2:09

took the words from my mouth

Reply

sulitak | 27

#5491022 - Tuesday 14 May 2013 8:26

#85 no, that's not being a dad. My Dad always made sure the "good gift" was from my sister and I. That Dad is a jerk and if my husband ever even thinks this is acceptable I will slap him

Reply

xALEXx_fml | 15

#5502185 - Wednesday 22 May 2013 12:15

#95 haha whatever you say

By mybarra6 | 17

#5489037 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:12

Looks like Batman is going to have to teach your dick of a dad a lesson!

Reply

garrett1999o3 | 16

#5489127 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:54

Yes, because Batman can save ALL the worlds problems!

Reply

garrett1999o3 | 16

#5489129 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:55

Too lazy to turn on your TV? Call Batman!

Reply

Weika | 5

#5489170 - Sunday 12 May 2013 20:25

Batman is just mad that he can't celebrate mothers day.

You know, because his parents are dead.

Reply

garrett1999o3 | 16

#5489186 - Sunday 12 May 2013 20:43

You probably shouldn't say that stuff about Batman.He's EVERYWHERE.....

Reply

Weika | 5

#5489347 - Sunday 12 May 2013 23:16

Except his parents' house.

Because they are dead.

Reply

greg84_fml | 21

#5489360 - Sunday 12 May 2013 23:33

Um, he lives in his parents' house.

Reply

garrett1999o3 | 16

#5489410 - Monday 13 May 2013 0:27

#69 That awkward moment when Batman lives in his parents' house.......

Reply

TheShadyMilkman | 15

#5489466 - Monday 13 May 2013 1:46

You don't happen to have a stash of free candy and stuffed animals do you? Either way still creepy you refer to yourself as batman...

By ROSI3TH3CAT | 18

#5489038 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:12

Clever plan but your fathers an ass.

By broncos67 | 9

#5489039 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:13

Your dad done did good

Reply

garrett1999o3 | 16

#5489124 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:52

1) lear a little grammar 2)If you like dicks,why don't you go to a gay bar?

Reply

eddeeezzyy | 19

#5489156 - Sunday 12 May 2013 20:17

26- learn*

Reply

Mr_Loudmouth | 9

#5489158 - Sunday 12 May 2013 20:17

Learn how to spell, Grammer Nazi.

Reply

Sonotsuave | 33

#5489173 - Sunday 12 May 2013 20:27

not funny to talk about gays man

Reply

HortonThelephant | 15

#5489190 - Sunday 12 May 2013 20:46

Whoa. This thread is fucked. Peace out...

By Wizardo | 33

#5489043 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:14

Woah what a prick! Here's an idea, switch out his fathers day presents for f*ck all!

Reply

ositoakaluis | 16

#5489097 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:33

Or give him the bill for Father's Day ;)

Reply

LadyRodgers29 | 0

#5489998 - Monday 13 May 2013 15:59

Exactly #20!

By revolution4ever | 14

#5489049 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:15

And parents wonder their kids have no respect for them...

By JohnMartson | 5

#5489053 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:16

Wow what a dick

By Zen_Mei | 17

#5489059 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:20

He's not getting anything for Father's Day

Reply

hellomynameisash | 14

#5489488 - Monday 13 May 2013 2:12

yes he is, hes getting the bill..

By Cheeley | 17

#5489063 - Sunday 12 May 2013 19:21

Well he can just forget about Father's day then huh?